realinterrobang (realinterrobang) wrote,

Quotes, Workin' For a Little Bit, Ooh Ahh Edition

My eyes rolled so hard I was checking out my own ass.
-- tigirismus, Alicublog, comments

For Christmas my husband bought new a TENS unit...(treats chronic pain with electric impulses through electrodes that stick to your skin)....I had the electrodes on the backs of my wrists and on my shoulders.....I turned it on....didn't feel anything....I cranked up the "voltage".....still nothing....I cranked it up some more.....then I noticed the connectors weren't pushed all the way in to the unit, so I pushed them in. Wrong, that thing zapped me so hard the muscles in my hands and shoulders contracted spasmodically!! I couldn't turn it down because every time I almost had my hands back under control, the unit would zap me again....I was laughing hysterically because I kept thinking the salesman said it would run for 30 hours on one charge and my family was going to come in and fined me twitching and laughing like a maniac! I finally managed to get the connectors pulled out....I could have done it much quicker if I could have stopped laughing. I was just glad there weren't witnesses!
-- BeBe Busby-Rhinehart, Facebook, comments

[S]wear words are very useful and usually the first thing you learn in foreign language.
-- NiTRo_SvK, Reddit, comments, speaking truth

When it comes to infection, germ theory is like gravitational theory. You ignore it at your peril.
-- Mark Crislip, "Treating the Terrain of Chronic Sinus Infections. A LAc of understanding.", Science-Based Medicine

Why did @RichardBSpencer run away from the Christmas party crying? Because he heard they were serving punch.
-- @kurteichenwald, Twitter

Crazy bugs never fucked so hard.
-- swkellog, Alicublog, comments

Anyone here watch Rectify (series on the Sundance channel)? I mention it because the sort of main character (it’s an ensemble cast) was in prison where he endured at least one gang rape. He was telling his brother-in-law about it, and the brother-in-law made light of it. So our hero knocks him out, pulls the BIL’s pants down and pours coffee grounds on his butt. There was no penetration, there weren’t multiple actors, and the victim was unconscious for the unpantsing and coffee-pouring. And yet he was profoundly traumatized. I think that’s part of the problem with the lack of seriousness with which our society addresses rape. It largely doesn’t happen to men, and most of them can’t imagine what it would be like. If a woman wasn’t a virgin, and she wasn’t killed, what’s the big deal, right?
-- greennotGreen, Balloon Juice, comments

20 years ago this week, a Jordanian soldier came into my family’s life and with a spray of deadly bullets changed it forever. He suddenly opened fire on a group of grade 8 school girls who were visiting a park on an island in the famous Jordan River Valley, established to celebrate peace between our countries. My 13-year-old daughter Sivan and six of her classmates were murdered on what ironically is called “the Island of Peace.” The euphoria we Israelis had from the peace treaty with Jordan died with the bullets that shattered our hopes for peace between our peoples. ... Into the sea of our anguish came Jordan’s leader, King Hussein, who visited the homes of the mourners to apologize personally for the senseless act of the soldier under his command and told us he felt in his heart the girls were his own. In our Jewish tradition, we greeted him with bread and salt and repeated the special blessing reserved for being in the presence of a king, in which we thank the Lord for bestowing His dignity on the flesh and blood that is the king. The king sat on the floor with the grieving families — a humbling image of virtue and humility that left a lasting impression on all Israelis.
-- Yisrael Ptichi, "Jordanians need the spirit of King Hussein," Times of Israel blogs

And I realized today that guys who whine about Mel Gibson or whoever when the talk is about some asshole black guy are just the "but her emails!" people with a tweak of subject. Bill Cosby raped 50+ women. Let me know how many women it takes before you give a shit. Saudi Arabia only requires four.
-- ginmar, "In other news...", A View From a Broad

The point at which a civil society refuses to care for its elderly - it ceases to be a civil society.
-- @RemittanceGirl, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

-- MBouffant, Alicublog, comments

[I]n late 2015, I came across a set of pictures with no identifying text. They appeared to show a gigantic apartment in what looked, from the windows, very much like New York. But I know Manhattan and its sophisticated style pretty well, and at first glance, you would think the place didn’t belong to an American but to a Russian oligarch, or possibly a Saudi prince with a second home in the United States. There were overscaled rooms, and obviously incorrect-looking historical detailing and proportions. The home had lots of gilded French furniture and the strange impersonal look of a hotel lobby, with chairs and sofas placed uncomfortably far from one another. There were masses of gold; there were the usual huge chandeliers, branded relics of famous sportsmen like Muhammad Ali, and mushroom-colored marble floors. There was relatively little in the way of paintings, but otherwise, the place reeked of dictator chic. As it turned out, this familiar yet unfamiliar apartment—a familiar style to me by then, but in an unlikely location—belonged to Donald Trump, who by then was running for president. This was the penthouse of the potential leader of the free world.
-- Peter York, "Trump's Dictator Chic," Politico

Consider, for example, Elon Musk’s obsession with transporting humans to Mars. The astronaut Buzz Aldrin told CNBC this week that Musk’s plan may be well-funded, but it’s not very well thought out—and that cheaper technology isn’t necessarily better. “We went to the moon on government-designed rockets,” Aldrin said.
-- Adrienne Lafrance, "Scientists Brace for a Lost Generation in American Research," The Atlantic

I was at Sister Kenny Hospital, on a construction visit. Kids my age, maybe 10 or 12 of em, their faces staring at me, smiling, their bodies in iron lungs. Me, trying to smile back at them through the glass, it's left a totally vivid image of what polio can do.
-- Kathy Kurutz, Facebook, comments

My grandmother grew up in a small town called Wiesloch, Germany during the Holocaust and WWII. She rarely talks about that period of her life but when we ask she would say things like, "Ya, I had friends who just disappeared. But we were raised not to ask questions." However, the most horrific story I heard was when she told me she was playing by a railroad track near her home with some friends. At one point, a large freight train came by. She heard what she thought to be scratching and screaming, but not those of an animal because she had heard that many times before when the train had passed. This time it was different. So she ran home and asked her mom what that could have been or meant. She said that her mom just yelled at her to never ask questions like that again and to stay away from the tracks and talk to no one.
-- Reddit user TurtlesDontLikePB, quoted in Toula Nikas, "Spooked People Share Stories They've Heard That Still Give Them Chills To This Day.", Knowable

Vice President Richard Cheney to Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy: "Fuck you."
Rightwing response: Hahahaha! Oh, it's just so much fun! That Leahy's a libtard and he deserved it! Hahaha!"
Citizen about to lose healthcare to GOP Teahadi rep: "Congressman, I'm concerned that Trumpcare will result in me losing my health insurance, and I'm not happy about that."
Rightwing response: "My stars and garters! How uncivil to suggest that such an upstanding congressman might have anything to do with so heinous an outcome! Sush! Let the man do the people's business!"
-- Derelict, Alicublog, comments

A major reason for the nationwide (and continent-wide, I believe) failure to test rape kits is that the labs spend all their time and money testing drug samples, in order to lock up such horrendous people as medical cannabis users. The drug samples have to be tested quickly in order to determine whether there really is an illegal drug there, in which case they will get a conviction, keep their numbers up, and then get another Byrne grant or armoured personnel carrier. There is no money in prosecuting the rapes, so they can wait forever.
-- Stephen Finlay, Balloon Juice, comments

I fear my head may fall off from all the shaking.

Sigh. My head rolled down the road.
-- @KarinWeekes and @EydrisIvo, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

Saw Star Wars Episode II in an NYC theater. As the opening text is scrolling up the screen, some jerk decides he's going to use a laser pointer on the screen. An intimidating dude in the front row stands up and points directly at the area the laser was probably coming from and yells "YOU! You best turn that off or I'm going to FEED you that laser. You wanna be poopin' lightsaber?" Laser clicks off. "That 's what I thought, Sith jerk!" The audience roars with laughter and applause. It was the best part of the movie.
-- Reddit user Scorpinock, quoted in Toula Nikas, "People Share The Funniest Thing They've Ever Heard Someone Say In The Middle Of A Movie Theater.", Knowable

“Death by hyperthermia” is the official designation. When it happens to young children, the facts are often the same: An otherwise loving and attentive parent one day gets busy, or distracted, or upset, or confused by a change in his or her daily routine, and just... forgets a child is in the car. It happens that way somewhere in the United States 15 to 25 times a year, parceled out through the spring, summer and early fall. The season is almost upon us. Two decades ago, this was relatively rare. But in the early 1990s, car-safety experts declared that passenger-side front airbags could kill children, and they recommended that child seats be moved to the back of the car; then, for even more safety for the very young, that the baby seats be pivoted to face the rear. If few foresaw the tragic consequence of the lessened visibility of the child . . . well, who can blame them? What kind of person forgets a baby?

The wealthy do, it turns out. And the poor, and the middle class. Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers. It happens to the chronically absent-minded and to the fanatically organized, to the college-educated and to the marginally literate. In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist.
-- Gene Weingarten, "Fatal Distraction: Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of a Car Is a Horrifying Mistake. Is It a Crime?", New York Times, 8 March 2009

Memory holes are growing larger, deeper. It's all the fracking, I think.
-- Jeffraham Prestonian, Alicublog, comments

Many things change, but the persistent desire to ignorantly scapegoat Jews for bad things that are happening remains the same.
-- @Yair_Rosenberg, Twitter

NIH funding is spread across all disciplines, several scientists reminded me, whereas private funding tends to be driven by the personal preferences of investors.
-- Adrienne Lafrance, "Scientists Brace for a Lost Generation in American Research," The Atlantic

For celebrate, I go bath house of Russian asshole with friends. First I say "No, Russian is hole of ass, Ivars will not go!" But I go, because friend want and Ivars is good friend. "Why I pay Russian to hit ass with sticks?" I ask. Is surprise, though - Russian bath house is good. I hate to admit, but Russian make some good thing, like Lada and Sergei Fedorov and bath house for stick hit. Be warn, though, Is important tip, if you go to Russian bath house, you get hit with stick and see many dongs. Kola Peninsula is expose, if you catch Ivars meaning.
-- Gin and Tacos, Facebook, channelling the Latvian marvel Ivars

I worked as a vet tech a couple of years ago, and this man came in to put down his old dog. Standard euthanasia protocol was used: get a basic history, ask if they want to be present, etc. As a coworker of mine asked the do you want to be present part, he responded with "yes, because I lost both of my boys last week and I wasn't there for them, and I'll be damned if I'm not there to send off my last living family member." Both of his boys we later found out died overseas. After hearing this, our whole staff went into that our euthanasia room and just hugged this man and his dog several minutes past his dog moving on. Out of my years in the field, I've never heard such a heartbroken man to lose his animal.
-- Reddit user iseshard32, quoted in Toula Nikas, "Spooked People Share Stories They've Heard That Still Give Them Chills To This Day.", Knowable

They wouldn't know happiness, fulfillment or courage if they bit a new hole in their arses.
-- davdoodles, Alicublog, comments

Let’s be perfectly clear: when you hear about “Sanctuary Cities”, this, and more generally than this the ability of immigrants and their associates to seek justice and protection, is what it’s about. If immigrants and their families and friends fear to contact the police, to seek redress, or to testify or appear in court, they become subhuman members of our society and permanent victims, at the mercy of whatever employer, landlord, or criminal decides to abuse them. They’re also more likely to resort to criminal measures in self-defense or seeking revenge. The goal in cracking down on “Sanctuary Cities” is to turn immigrant-rich communities into unlivable hellholes for the entertainment of and to suit the prejudices of Trump’s older suburban and rural white voters.
-- Warren Terra, Lawyers, Guns, andMoney, comments

I not only flew with Dick Scobee, we owned a plane together, and I know Scob did everything he could to save his crew. Scob fought for any and every edge to survive. He flew that ship without wings all the way down... they were alive.
-- Astronaut and NASA lead incident investigator Robert Overmyer, quoted on

where were you when the Ramen wars started?
-- @jkirell, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

A woman I dated who went to school in Missouri had some friends who went cave diving a lot. While diving one day, their line "fell from the ceiling" as she put it, and they were lost. She said when their bodies were recovered, it was apparent they'd fought over the last of the air in their tanks.
-- deepseaforme, Reddit, comments

You know, if the "alt-right" is how white men react when they feel marginalized, maybe we need to hurry up and actually marginalize them. Because who needs them running things when their response to the merest slight is fucking fascism?
-- mds, Alicublog, comments

“The more a field valued giftedness, the fewer the female PhDs,” the study found, pointing out that the same pattern held for African Americans. Because both groups still tend to be “stereotyped as lacking innate intellectual talent,” the study concluded, “the extent to which practitioners of a discipline believe that success depends on sheer brilliance is a strong predictor of women’s and African Americans’ representation.”
-- Liza Mundy, "Why Is Silicon Valley So Awful to Women?", The Atlantic

I had a co-worker who went to tour Auschwitz concentration camp as part of a book research trip. It was self-guided, the organizers gave her a tape to put in her walkman and listen to while she toured the grounds of historians, survivors and former guards/employees. The tour ended at the ovens, and the tape stopped and she was instructed to stand in silence and reflect. While staring at the ovens she swears she felt a hand grip her right hand, a small one, like a child. She looked down, nothing, but she heard a voice in Polish through her earphones. The tape had stopped minutes before. said she felt this urge to bend down and pick up something. She felt the need to say out loud "It's OK, you are free now." She left the camp in tears, feeling so helpless. She repeated what she heard to a friend who spoke Polish, who said it was "Take me away from here, have they no shame." She still can't talk about it without crying.
-- Karen McKinley, Facebook, comments

"Diversity hires" are usually the best. Nobody stands up for an unlikely candidate unless they're damn sure.
-- @weel, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

There is no God!
-- unnamed 9/11 witness, in "9/11 Time Zero unseen footage WTC," YouTube

Our choices can only be as good as our options.
-- Helmut Monotreme, Alicublog, comments

I wish there was a 'Not Safe For Bedtime' tag.
-- kinky_kate, Reddit, comments

We're overlooking the Financial Center. Three of us. Two broken windows. Oh God. Aaaaghh!
-- last words of 9/11 victim Kevin Cosgrove, 911 call, call ends as tower collapses

If u made it illegal for neonazis, white supremacists & alt-righters to say "snowflake" "cuck" or to curse, they would go completely silent.
-- @kurteichenwald, Twitter
Tags: quotes

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