realinterrobang (realinterrobang) wrote,

Quotes, Some Day My Job Will Come Edition

"Mlem! Mlem!" it blorped.
-- Oregon Beer Snob, Alicublog, comments

I rolled my eyes so hard I picked up a spare.
-- spearsy23, Reddit, comments

There is a school of thought that claims that helicopters do not fly; they are repelled from the ground by their ugliness.

The version I’d heard is that helos don’t fly, they just beat the air into submission.
-- Eric Lund and Johnny, Respectful Insolence, comments

There was a very brief period in the 1970s when the leaders of the United States, the United Kingdom, and Canada all simultaneously had the initials JC (Jimmy Carter, James Callaghan, and Joe Clark).
-- SiubhanDuinne, Balloon Juice, comments

There was a splendid gaffe on BBC radio some years ago when the newsreader announced: "The unorganised conference -- er, I'm sorry, the UN organised conference." Another unfortunate slip occurred in the 1973 Middle East war. With rumblings in Lebanon, a BBC foreign correspondent referred to "Lesbian forces moving towards Israel".
-- Roger Crutchley, "When shortwave radio was my best friend," Bangkok Post

Actually, I've been a little surprised that racists have become so offended at being called racists. You can talk to such a person and ask if they consider themselves to be genetically superior to black people or Jewish people and they'll tell you all about it... I've spoken to people who talk about "pure blood" and such... but if you call them "racist" they act like you've thrown boiling water on them. Scalded!
-- Buddy McCue, Alicublog, comments

actually if a white supremacist calls something 'censorship', there's a 100% chance it's good.
-- @vex0rian, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

The Detroit suburb of Dearborn boasts one of the nation’s largest Arab-American communities; in good traffic, would-be refugees there are a 20-minute drive from Canada. But these days, their only reliable way in is a 12-hour drive through four states to a ditch-ended gravel road in upstate New York, where some warning signs and, often, a team of Mounties wait ready to detain newcomers and deliver them to immigration processing at Lacolle, Que.
-- Jason Markusoff, "Why Canada’s status quo at the border can’t last," Maclean's

It's just not worth it to have separate tissues for your nose snot and your ball snot.
-- Daniel Newman, Facebook, comments

My older brother Sean has cerebral palsy. ... My older brother Sean, like anyone else, has interests and opinions and lives a rich life, and he has never defined himself by his disability. But America always has.
-- Terrence Doyle, "What Will Trumpcare Mean For My Disabled Brother?", Adequate Man, Deadspin

There's a whole lot of profit in illegal weed. The high profit margin is because it's illegal. And that high profit margin makes it worth someone's while to use violence and intimidation to gain and maintain market share. And because weed is illegal, none of those victims can really complain to the cops. But Sessions knows that police departments throughout the South have made hundreds of millions of dollars using asset forfeiture laws to steal homes, cars, bank accounts, jewelry, and anything else of value by simply accusing people of having had weed. The way the laws are structured, the person being accused doesn't even have to have weed or anything else on them--they can, indeed, be completely innocent of any wrongdoing at all. Yet, their house, car, cash, bank accounts, jewelry or whatever become the property of the law enforcement agency that decided to take it. Keeping weed illegal guarantees the asset forfeiture gravy train keeps rolling. It also guarantees that America can make sure no less than half of the Black males in this country end up with criminal records. And now in our new post-factual racist society, maybe we can just assume that any Black male above the age of 10 either has, will have, or did have pot in their possession at one time. So let's lock 'em all up! (And let's not touch those laws about convicted felons losing the right to vote.)
-- Derelict, Alicublog, comments

Methinks a law saying that all rape kits must be processed before a police department is eligible for any Federal cop toys is an excellent approach for solving the problem.
-- Feathers, Balloon Juice, comments

U.S Sex Ed is still in the realm of "It's spooky bad juju, never do it EVER or you'll get disease X, Y, Z, A113, and your life will BE RUINED PERMENANTLY!!!!!!!11111" Because apparently telling hormone-driven teenagers to not do the one thing their bodies are going crazy for will work wonders!
-- empirebuilder1, Reddit, comments

When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

When your only goal is breaking things, every tool looks like a hammer.
-- Michael Yosef Miller, Facebook

Please stop saying that immigrants are ruining our country. Such comments are like a giant verbal burrito stuffed with historical ignorance, latent racism and xenophobia, all wrapped in a fascist tortilla.
-- LaMonte M. Fowler, "Read This Before You Say Anything Else About 'Taking Back America'," The Huffington Post

Real life will slap the Republicans like a red-headed stepchild, but the stupids will decide they need to double-down on a REAL conservative, etc. etc. I don't see the way out. The stupids know their ideas are the best, they know government is simple and they know all their ideas are correct and completely workable. A whole lot of Americans will have to have a Bad Day to wake up, and since the country is designed to make white folks feel better about themselves (aided by Fox, Dimbart, Rushbo et al) that is going to take a whole lot of suffering by us 'non-elites'.
-- LittlePig, Alicublog, comments

Those rejected by U.S. immigration courts would occasionally cross; so would those who had family or a community in Canada. But as the dozens have become hundreds, the northward stream has swelled further to include those who simply don’t want to give the Trump-era system a chance, with its renewed focus on detention and deportation. When a monitor for the United Nations’ refugee agency recently visited Lacolle and interviewed dozens of border-crossing claimants—mainly Turks, Yemenis and Somalis that day—he found most had temporary American visas and were treating the U.S. as a way station en route to their preferred asylum country, Canada. Jean-Nicolas Beuze found most to be well-dressed and well-equipped. “It was not an improvised, last-minute decision. It was something that had been well thought out; they knew where to go,” says Beuze, the agency’s Canadian representative.
-- Jason Markusoff, "Why Canada’s status quo at the border can’t last," Maclean's

Anyone here watch Rectify (series on the Sundance channel)? I mention it because the sort of main character (it’s an ensemble cast) was in prison where he endured at least one gang rape. He was telling his brother-in-law about it, and the brother-in-law made light of it. So our hero knocks him out, pulls the BIL’s pants down and pours coffee grounds on his butt. There was no penetration, there weren’t multiple actors, and the victim was unconscious for the unpantsing and coffee-pouring. And yet he was profoundly traumatized.

I think that’s part of the problem with the lack of seriousness with which our society addresses rape. It largely doesn’t happen to men, and most of them can’t imagine what it would be like. If a woman wasn’t a virgin, and she wasn’t killed, what’s the big deal, right?
-- greennotGreen, Balloon Juice, comments

Eek, "hydrofluoric acid spill" is not a phrase you want to see in the news.
-- @Anton_P_Nym, Twitter

I have a problem with those who support "alternative" facts. What the FUCK is wrong with you? Breitbart is not news. It's propaganda.
-- Vicki Stein, Facebook

I have been condemned by nature to be the distant facilitator of good joke.
-- coozledad, Alicublog, comments

The hackers’ convention known as DEF CON is holding its 25th anniversary gathering this July in Las Vegas: “We’re celebrating 25 years of warranty-voiding, boundary-expanding adventures in technological subversion,” boasts its website. These folks have been around so long their black T-shirts have turned gray.
-- David Ignatius, "The real shocker in the WikiLeaks scoop," Washington Post

14-yr-old molested girls/young women/etc are not the majority of abortion seekers, but they exist, and they can’t vote.
-- Lyrebird, Balloon Juice, comments

There are no fields to walk across at Detroit or Buffalo, and only the occasional tale of asylum-seekers scuttling over the International Railway Bridge to Fort Erie, Ont. (one man lost his legs when a train came through).
-- Jason Markusoff, "Why Canada’s status quo at the border can’t last," Maclean's

if you ever code something that "feels like a hack but it works," just remember that a CPU is literally a rock that we tricked into thinking; not to oversimplify: first you have to flatten the rock and put lightning inside it
-- @daisyowl, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym, two tweets (semicolon added)

Our Father, who art in the Seven Heavens, or Elysium, or the Happy Hunting Grounds, or Gehenna, or Limbo, or Nirvana, or The Abyss, etc., in accordance with His alignment, hallowed be His name. Thy Kingdom of Greyhawk come, thy Wisdom (not Willpower, and definitely not Comeliness) be done, in the Tomb of Horrors and and Forgotten Temple of Tharizdun. Give us this day our daily roll on the Harlot Encounter Table, and let us discharge our debts in Electrum Pieces, and never forgive the trespasses of removing the Assassin and Half-Orc. Lead us not into the temptations of THAC0 or d20, and deliver us from Cavaliers as a Paladin sub-class.
-- Fats Durston, Alicublog, comments, engaging in some divine nerdery

The BBC didn't always bring good news. I recall one particularly disturbing week towards the end of 1984 while loafing about on an island off Krabi with just my little radio for company. While sitting on a deserted beach watching the sand crabs at play, news of Indira Gandhi's assassination came filtering through. Then, in the space of just a few days on that same beach, the radio greeted me with the cheerful news that the baht had been devalued 15%. And then I got bitten by a crab.
-- Roger Crutchley, "When shortwave radio was my best friend," Bangkok Post

The 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act was meant to ensure employers could not levy unjustified discrimination against an employee or a candidate for employment based on their disability status. And yet nearly 30 years later, working-age adults with disabilities in America face unemployment rates as high as 65 percent.
-- Terrence Doyle, "What Will Trumpcare Mean For My Disabled Brother?", Adequate Man, Deadspin

What really bugs me is that the failure to process rape kits demonstrates the hypocrisy of the “law and order” types. If you really cared about law and order, then this would be a priority. It’s hard to beat DNA evidence.
-- LAO, Balloon Juice, comments

You submit to tyranny when you renounce the difference between what you want to hear and what is actually the case.
-- historian Timothy Snyder, quoted in Sean Illing, "'Post-truth is pre-fascism': a Holocaust historian on the Trump era," Vox

Society is collectivist.
-- BG (unintelligible yelling), Alicublog, comments
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