realinterrobang (realinterrobang) wrote,

Quotes, Happy Birthday to Me, Actually! Edition

The fuck? THE FUCKING FUCK?! Honest to God, I don't have enough fucks to get through the next four years. And I was in the fucking Navy
-- @Stonekettle, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

It is strange how violence isn't particularly vulgar in our society, but sex is. In some parallel universe, you can show a dildo on television, but not a gun. Maybe they could pixelate the guns or something.

I'd like to put in for a transfer.
-- Buddy McCue and tigirismus, Alicublog, comments

Sessions is famous for quipping that he thought the Ku Klux Klan was all right until he found out that some of its members smoked pot, an odious comment on many levels.
-- Digby, "Trump's beautiful new police state," Hullabaloo

If I'm going to get picked on for being born Jewish, I might as well be associated with the biggest and baddest Judaic boogeyman around, Mr. George Soros.
-- Jason Weisberger, "Neo-Nazis Attack Boing Boing Publisher," Boing Boing

I wanna know if this guy is in your army, because we're gonna give him a new job, making license plates.
-- Lt. (Ret.) Joe Kenda, "Homicide Hunter: The Monster Awakes"

"If you're so mad about X, why aren't/weren't you mad about Y??" - how I can tell you care about neither X nor Y.
-- @thelindayellis, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

Right now Donald J. Trump has his tongue so far up that authoritarian thug Erdogan's ass, they can do alveolar flaps in unison.
-- mds, Alicublog, comments

These are people so clueless about the positions they've assumed that it never occurred to anyone to run Executive Orders past a real, JD-holding lawyer before issuing them. That this could have escaped the thought process of everyone involved is almost beyond comprehension.
-- Ed, "The Modal Man," Gin and Tacos

I feel like I have to wear a cup before opening the newspaper.
-- James W. Frost, Facebook, comments

Trump at law enforcement conference: "People say I was kidding. I don't kid." I believe this may be the one true thing Trump has said all week. He doesn't kid. He has no sense of humor at all --- well unless you call his glee at bullying people "humor." He never laughs. I think it's a mistake not to take him seriously AND literally. He lies constantly, pathologically, but he means what he says when he says it. He's not a kidder.
-- Digby, "QOTD: Our beautiful president," Hullabaloo

When diplomats in Washington, London or elsewhere wonder about Israel’s intentions – when they complain that Netanyahu is either lying about his support for Palestinian statehood or about his support for settlements, because how can he support both? – they are overlooking the most important fact of Israel’s position. Since Israel’s earliest days, the West Bank has meant both secure boundaries and mortal danger, a homecoming to the landscapes of Jewish and biblical history and a potentially disastrous intertwining with a foreign people.
-- Haviv Rettig Gur, "As Trump era begins, what does Israel actually want in the West Bank?", Times of Israel

i'm starting a reality show where twitter users compete over who gives the sickest burns. it's called snark tank
-- @AdamSerwer, Twitter

Sudden realization this weekend - I recognize NOBODY on the covers of the various celebrity magazines in the store's periodicals rack, and yet I have no problem recognizing Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. And you know what? I'm perfectly fine with that.
-- Pere Ubu, Alicublog, comments

Anyone who spends their life sifting through how language is used also has to sift through history, and how words have been used at various points to harm, erase, or exclude. Our job is to tease language out from spin, politicking, rhetoric, and apologetics, and tell the truth about what a word means.
-- Merriam-Webster associate editor Kory Stamper, quoted in David Mack, "This Dictionary Keeps Subtweeting Trump And Here’s The Full Story," Buzzfeed News

It's like I am the product of a breeding program aimed at producing the Kwisatz Haderach of poor life choices. Or as I like to think of it "being of both Scottish and Irish background".
-- James Nicoll, Facebook, comments

[A] huge chunk of our population rejects real medicine and instead use snake oil, useless (and often dangerous) herbs, and various forms of random bad advice from the internet or their “intuition.” In my zip code there are twice as many quack “medical” offices as real ones, with all manner of Charlatans who collect big bucks from the true believers. And science? Who needs that evil lie of the devil when we have the good book to tell us what's what about everything. At least a quarter of our citizens are stark, raving mad.
-- Isaac, Gin and Tacos, comments

Scratch a libertarian, find a fascist.
-- @Anarresistitance, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

Everything he has done since he was inaugurated proves him to be dead serious about unleashing the military and the police to enact his agenda, and he wants the other branches of government to understand that if they obstruct him he’s going to make sure his rabid followers know who to blame. According to Ryan Lizza of the New Yorker, legal scholars of all stripes, even the torture advocate John Yoo, whom I wrote about on Tuesday, are disturbed by Trump’s executive actions and what he’s saying about them. Pretty much across the board, they anticipate that Trump will blame the courts , the media and the political opposition in the event of an attack. They believe he is anxious to use an attack as an excuse to “take the gloves off” in whatever way he deems necessary.
-- Digby, "Trump's beautiful new police state," Hullabaloo

I have seen folks saying "First they came for the Muslims, and black people said 'the fuck do you mean, first?'"
-- AngryWarthogBreath, Alicublog, comments

On May 15, 1967, the night before Israel’s nineteenth Independence Day, in a small religious seminary in downtown Jerusalem, an elderly rabbi with a black hat and a venerable, wispy white beard was admonishing his disciples. ... In his unusually emotional sermon that night, [R. Tzvi Yehuda] Kook recalled another “famous night,” the fateful night of November 29, 1947, when news reached Israel of the United Nations vote to partition the land into a Jewish state and an Arab one. “While all the nation streamed into the streets to celebrate their joy,” he told his students, “I could not go out, I could not join the happiness. I sat alone in silence, a weight upon me. In those first hours I could not accept what was done, that terrible news, that the prophecy was fulfilled: ‘And divided my land!’ [Joel 4:2].” As he spoke, the emotion broke through. “Where is our Hebron?” he cried. “Did we forget it? And where is our Shchem [Nablus]? Did we forget it? And where is our Jericho? … Where is every clod of earth, every parcel and parcel of the four corners of the land of God?”
-- Haviv Rettig Gur, "As Trump era begins, what does Israel actually want in the West Bank?", Times of Israel

It seems weird and unsettling to be talking about “containing” our erstwhile ally in this way. But that is the world we are now in; the calamity that has befallen the United States is also ours. We will still need to work with the Americans; we can still hope to engage them in common causes; we can make discreet alliances with like-minded people in the American Congress and political establishment. But we cannot, so long as Trump is in power, count on them to be with us. We cannot even count on them not to be against us.
-- Andrew Coyne, "Collective resistance is only way to contain the Trump threat," National Post

How come every libertarian who finds himself (no women in their ranks apparently) in a discussion with left twitter is objectively pro-Nazi?
-- @WorkersSpatula, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

I knew a kid who could solve algebraic equations in her head. She dropped out to work full time, because her mother had lupus and couldn’t afford treatment. I knew a kid who could pick up languages so fast it was like he’d known them all along.
-- John Paul Brammer, "If Public Schools Don’t Survive, Kids Like Me Won’t Either," Buzzfeed News

People may think he’s just joking, but Trump isn’t really a funny guy. His threats are real, and people should be careful about what they say to him.
-- Digby, "Trump's beautiful new police state," Hullabaloo

The crime has nothing to do with sexual gratification; it's about the punishment of women.
-- Lt. (Ret.) Joe Kenda, "Homicide Hunter: The Monster Awakes," on rape

We've all heard the old joke that "I'll pray for you" is the Christian's way of saying "Go fuck yourself," and it really is. At least, when some irate stranger tells me to go fuck myself, I know they're just angry at the moment, and not hoping to watch me writhe in eternal torment.
-- Captain Ambiguity, Alicublog, comments

Working off the clock doesn't make you a hard worker. It makes you a sucker.
-- @sciencecomic, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

The Republican Party has basically become cable television. If you vote for a Republican, you have to take the package. You want to vote for the radical anti-abortion candidate, you have to take the anti-union, anti-minimum wage, no money for "discretionary" spending as well.
-- Harold Feld, Facebook, comments

What we are living through feels both surreal and hyper-real.
-- Digby, "QOTD: Andrew Sullivan," Hullabaloo

[S]omeone who proselitizes simply says: "Your Identity is crap and I've something better for you."
-- Yael Schlichting, Times of Israel blogs, comments

Why didn't you tell me that dogs are one of the meanings of life?
-- Keith Olbermann, "Life in Trump's America Just Got Worse for Your Pet," YouTube

Say it with me: Free Market Cultists believe that market outcomes are moral judgments.
-- @asymbina, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

The bullshit is getting fractal.
-- D Sidhe, Alicublog, comments

[I]t is not incumbent upon you to continue the joke, yet you are not free to desist from it.
-- Michael Yosef Miller, Facebook, comments

Every person kisses the land with his own lips and for her own reasons.
-- Rachel Sharansky Danziger, "Israel’s valentines," Times of Israel blogs
Tags: quotes

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