October 24th, 2019

Avner

Quotes, Waiting for Godot Edition

There is nothing on this earth less transgressive than straight, white, male comedians complaining about Political Correctness.
-- Facebones, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Yeah, it DOES seem like harmless fun to dipshit toxic men, until you break their arm for committing sexual assault. Consequences, boys. Consequences.
-- mountainofsleep, Twitter

I have ADHD so start my day with coffee and dexamphetamine. Electricity says “Hi” and a passing
gravity wave asked how your mum is doing.
-- Chris Gianacas, Facebook, comments

Left handed, dyspraxic and coeliac! I'm like the unicorn nobody asked for.
-- haemwrecker, Reddit, comments

Now; the ponds that dot the zoo property ... were also full of ginormous koi fish, some of whom by now are at least three feet long. Sensing an opportunity to cash in on the koi, the zoo put up little vending machines all over the place that dispense handfuls of food pellets. I swear to god the fish can hear the crank turning, and will show up at the nearest railing, blooping expectantly at whoever happens to be standing there and doing their best to appear starving and desperate. And they weren’t the only ones who learned to associate the sound with the imminent arrival of food. The Canada geese knew a good deal when they saw one, and had long since ceased to migrate anyway. They formed roving gangs of thug-geese and staked out their turf around the vending machines, ready to mug anyone with pocket change. Picture yourself as a small child squaring off with a bird fully prepared to strip search you while standing on your feet and yelling “HWAAAAAKK!!” in your face. It’s traumatizing to you and deeply hilarious to your parents.
-- indirispeaks, "The Great Flamingo Uprising," zookeeperproblems.tumblr.com

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