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The Real Interrobang -- You STILL Can't Do That On Slashdot
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in realinterrobang's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Tuesday, June 12th, 2018
9:36 pm
Quotes, The Trudeau/Harper/Schiff Jam Band Edition, Special All-LGM Issue
Telling truth to power is only effective when an audience cares about truth. When all they care about is power it's about as useful as telling interior design to waterfowl.
-- Nobdy, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

One of my great-uncles was a priest and a bit of a grifter. As Mom used to put it: “He wants everyone to get on the train to see Jesus, and he’ll wave them goodby from the station.”
-- Bobby Tolberto, AKA TDA, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

This reality series is a hot mess. Scandal-action scene-scandal-scandal-retread of 80s bad guys... Does anyone write for plot or character development anymore? Next up, the Bill Casey as the man in black.
-- BobOso, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments, on current reality

"You weak, vegan, effeminate, frooty, sensitive, snowflake, unmartial, unpatriotic, gunless, unmanly, skinny-armed, metrosexual sissies are BULLYING me!!"
-- BiloSagdiyev, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

As I recall it, the last time we invaded Canuckistan, our neighbors to the north handed us our asses as parting gifts to take back home with us.

Who knew those motherfuckers stand on guard?
-- Derelict and N__B, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

My gast, she ees flabbered.Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, June 6th, 2018
9:13 pm
Quotes, We Are Starstuff/Nuclear Waste Edition
We're the introverts! We're here! We're uncomfortable! We want to go home!
-- Major Kong, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Stephen and Adam Baldwin, Scott Baio and Tim Allen starting their own conservative comedy sitcom would be like a bunch of overweight 5'5 50-year-old white guys starting their own NBA team.
-- Honest Abe Lincoln, Facebook, comments

[Screw Magazine cofounder] Al Goldstein once claimed “the only reason that Jews are in pornography is that we think that Christ sucks.”
-- Bill Black, "Why the Alt-Right Thinks Porn is a Jewish Conspiracy," Mel Magazine

She was a great man, whose only fault was that she was a woman.
-- Voltaire, on Emilie du Chatelet, quoted in "Nova: E=mc2"

I hated my pet rock. He had sex with another rock and had pebbles everywhere
-- DiedrichVK, Reddit, comments

You pick which.Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Monday, May 28th, 2018
8:29 pm
Quotes, Feelin' Hot Hot Hot Edition
Steven Wright sometimes uses the line, "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" I always thought the obvious answer to this would be, "Everywhere".
-- Hercules Grytpype-Thinne, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

While Holmes was fast to catch on to engineering concepts, Balwani was often out of his depth during engineering discussions. To hide it, he had a habit of repeating technical terms he heard others using. During a meeting with Khannah’s team, he latched onto the term “end effector,” which signifies the claws at the end of a robotic arm. Except Balwani didn’t hear “end effector,” he heard “endofactor.” For the rest of the meeting, he kept referring to the fictional endofactors. At their next meeting with Balwani two weeks later, Khannah’s team brought a PowerPoint presentation titled “Endofactors Update.” As Khannah flashed it on a screen with a projector, the five members of his team stole furtive glances at one another, nervous that Balwani might become wise to the prank. But he didn’t bat an eye and the meeting proceeded without incident. After he left the room, they burst out laughing.

Khannah and his team also got Balwani to use the obscure engineering term “crazing.” It normally refers to a phenomenon that produces fine cracks on the surface of a material, but Khannah and his colleagues used it liberally and out of context to see if they could get Balwani to repeat it, which he did. Balwani’s knowledge of chemistry was no better. He thought the chemical symbol for potassium was P (it’s K; P is the symbol for phosphorus)—a mistake most high school chemistry students wouldn’t make.
-- John Carreyrou, "A New Look Into Theranos' Dysfunctional Corporate Culture," Wired

Anxiety is a bitch! Like, "is this my intuition talking or the batshit crazy voice in my head that fucks with me daily? How can I hear the difference?"
-- Courtney Dosch, Facebook, comments

It's known as "SLF," which means "Stitch Like...I won't finish it."
-- cardiothoracic surgeon, interviewed in "Surgeons: Episode 2"

The gate of dreams had reopened. [I]n the train of religion came little puffs of theosophy, mysticism, esoteric faith, occultism to visit the chambers of the Western mind.
-- Romain Rolland, 1910, quoted in Pankaj Mishra, "Jordan Peterson & Fascist Mysticism," The New York Review of Books, NYBooks Daily

May be moving off...Collapse )

Current Mood: hot
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2018
3:11 pm
Quotes, it's Work, Who Knew? Edition
I'm trying to think of a way to mash up Idiocracy with The Handmaid's Tale, and all I can visualize is Mike Pence.
-- mds, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Deep nerd shade. The very best kind.
-- @DubPip, Twitter

-- King_Steve62, Reddit, comments

I'm becoming convinced that Atlas Shrugged IS a roadmap to a better future, only not in the way its author or adherents think. Like, how do we get these people to go away faster.
-- Gin and Tacos, Facebook, comments

I saw that Philip Roth died today. I admit that my first thought was, “I suppose we’ll all be able to read about it in his next novel.”
-- NineDragonSpot, Balloon Juice, comments

Dunno how this happened...Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
5:10 pm
Quotes, Shut Out Again Edition
Disabilities now get their very own lawyers?
What a brave new world!
-- smartalek, Layers, Guns, and Money, comments

North Korea is, by the Nazis-were-socialists standpoint, the freest goddamn country in the known world.
-- AngryWarthogBreath, Alicublog, comments

I was located at my station at Fire Station 112 on Terminal Island, about 7:35, somewhere along there in the evening. As I looked out that window, a tremendous pressure wave hit us. We call this a self-announcing alarm.
-- LAFD Fireboat Pilot (Ret.) Bill Dahlquist, interviewed in "Modern Marvels: Engineering Disasters - Sansinena Explosion"

I slept through stats but “I believe wholeheartedly that all x are y” doesn’t seem like something you could put a p-value on
-- @Snowpdx, Twitter, comments

There is a reason the Canadian flag is only white and red. White in winter and sunburned af in summer.
-- Riley Patterson, Facebook, comments

My luck has to change one day soon, right?Collapse )

Current Mood: sick
Friday, April 27th, 2018
6:13 pm
Quotes, A Bucket of Nothin' Tea Edition
I'm on a waiting list for *my* adamantium skeleton - socialised healthcare is the WORST.
-- Ash, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Libertarians are a fun lot. They're sure that they use no undue resources yet can't seem to get off the first world's teat.
-- Phillip Battista, Facebook, comments

A man once got mad bc my ma asked me for a tampon in Punjabi + demanded we speak English so my ma asked him if he had a tampon + he ran away.
-- @AGlasgowGirl, Twitter

...97% fearmongering and links to whale.to...
-- description of an article quoted in Clay Jones, "Separating Fact from Fiction in Maternal-Fetal Medicine: Anti-D Immunoglobulin for the Prevention of Hemolytic Disease of the Fetus and Newborn," Science-Based Medicine

The National Non Sequitur Society - we may not make sense, but we do like pizza!
-- Pere Ubu, Alicublog, comments

Help?Collapse )

Current Mood: disappointed
Friday, April 20th, 2018
3:27 pm
Quotes, How I Wish I Were in LA Now Edition
"Jesus, take the joystick, pedals, throttle, flaps, landing gear, altimeter, fuel gauges, reserve fuel gauges..."
-- BiloSagdiyev, Laywers, Guns, and Money, comments, on "sappy country songs" for pilots

What doesn't kill me kinda makes me want to give it a try.
-- D Sidhe, Alicublog, comments

I try to be a good person, but it has been indicated that if I keep ordering the big bags of cat litter from the Internet the UPS guy is going to put out a hit on me.
-- @linanneblack, Twitter

I'll tell you: Rabbonim [rabbis] go to the bathroom.
-- Rabbi Dovid Kaplan, live class on Chassidic thought, on Facebook

The nudist trip to Manitoulin Island has been cancelled due to an unfortunate misunderstanding with the vice squad. Anyone who wants to contribute bail money should contact Doug's wife.
-- status update for "TV Nerds," 2018 April 18, nerdpit.ca

Palm trees for everyone!Collapse )

Current Mood: exhausted
Wednesday, April 18th, 2018
1:01 am
Quotes, Where Has the Spring Gone?
They've moved the "Overton Window" so far over to the right it's left the house and it's sitting on the lawn.
-- MikeEss, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

After the School of Hard Knocks diploma you can get a doctorate online from the Dunning Kruger Technical Institute.
-- Carina Liley, Facebook, comments

When all you Clinton is a Clinton, every Clinton looks Clinton Clinton.

Our Clinton who art in Clinton, Clinton be thy name...
-- @edroso and @Biggsium, Twitter

If, like me, you get the sense that this shit runs jauntily alongside National Socialism, fear not, because remember!—Peterson disdains ideology. He’s far more interested in the mystical proto-scientific guff that, hey, if you’re up for it, provides the scaffolding behind toxic ideologies.
-- Richard Popliak, "Richard Poplak sets Jordan B Peterson’s house in order: a (scorching) review of 12 Rules For Life," Johannesburg Review of Books

If Canada geese were human, they would be lounging around all day doing nothing, claiming every welfare benefit in the book, driving their neighbours out of town and notching up ASBOs [Anti-Social Behaviour Orders] around the clock. While numbers have quadrupled in the last 40 years, local authorities and landowners - hampered by the law - have fought a losing battle to keep their numbers at bay.
-- Robert Hardman, "Canada Geese Deserve ASBOs," The Daily Mail

I *hate* ice.Collapse )

Current Mood: depressed
Saturday, April 7th, 2018
11:37 pm
Quotes, Plagues Edition
The Trump Show is a bunch of people who can't plan a one-dish microwave meal.
-- Captain Oblivious, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

When Skylab reentered my Grandfather and his friend placed a section of an old airplane wing, that they had charred and melted in order for it to appear to be burned. They painted “Sk” on the wing. They did this late one night. At their neighbor’s house. Once it was on the roof they jumped up and down on the roof till they heard their friend wake up then they ran. Their neighbor was really excited and called every government agency he could think of. The three of them told that story around the campfire for decades afterwards.
-- Neil Blankenship, Facebook, comments

"Alpha Male" the early version of a male, before testing and bug fixes. Unstable and not suitable for the public
-- @lunafae_eclipse, Twitter

"Crisis actor" and "deep state" are both warning bells to let you know you're speaking with the dangerously moronic.

I call such warning bells "twit signals"; they signal that the speaker is a twit.

Just like "fiat money"!
-- AGoodQustion, paradoctor, and D Sidhe, Alicublog, comments

I’ll spare you the pseudoscience that follows, but perhaps the most risible aspect of Peterson’s outlook is that social relations can’t be governed by kindness, nor can they be tweaked for fairness. It’s been proven that serotonin can be self-administered by a simple change in attitude, he tells us, so stop complaining about being discriminated against and change your posture. (This is an actual Petersonism, I shit you not.)
-- Richard Popliak, "Richard Poplak sets Jordan B Peterson’s house in order: a (scorching) review of 12 Rules For Life," Johannesburg Review of Books

I put the blood out, what's the deal?!Collapse )

Current Mood: sick
Monday, March 26th, 2018
9:38 pm
Quotes, Murderous Corporations, Circa Pre-Reagan Edition
After Brexit, I want the Brits to start using guineas again.

You're supposed to call them Italians.
-- N__B and Hogan, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Nobody, and I mean nobody, does "Oh yeah? Well fuck YOU" better than a lawyer.
-- Gin and Tacos, Facebook, comments

And so, we'd ask questions like, "What drives you? What's the important stuff in your life?" and so, women, when they're there usually talk about love and safety, and feeling comforted and part of something, and...when you do it with a group of guys like Jeff and his crew, it was "Beer, hockey, and women." And I can remember thinking, "Okay, these are guys...I might need to slow down a bit." "But underneath the beer, hockey, and women, what really matters to you?" They sat there and they went (side-eye gesture) "Beer, hockey, women...and computers."
-- female facilitator, on helping Jeff, a man with profound cerebral palsy, live well, interviewed in "W5: Caring for severely disabled children as they age"

edit: please don't upvote me anymore, I don't want my top comment to be a penis-related pun :(

Edit 2: you fuckers
-- rundownv2, Reddit, comments (as of this writing, the comment has 1902 upvotes)

Interviewer: And you don't mind being called a "winchman"?
KW: No, to me it's just a job title. It's like, when I was in the Air Force, "crewman." It's just...it's just a job title. However, I do get called...I do get called "Winch Wench," which, (laughs) I don't mind.
-- Humberside Search and Rescue crew member Kate Willoughby, interviewed in "Skies Above Britain: Flying Into Danger"

Baap! Baap! Baap! Baaap!Collapse )

Current Mood: sick
Monday, March 12th, 2018
11:42 pm
Quotes, Already Edition
Conservatives love free markets until they discover that there is no demand for their preferred policies.
-- DrDick, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

I planted a whole case of Bud and never saw so much as one Anheuser bush.
-- Big_Bad_Bald_Bastart, Alicublog, comments

Winston Churchill: How old?
Lady with baby on the Tube: Five months, sir. He looks like you.
WC: All babies look like me.
-- dialogue from "Darkest Hour"

As long as its wings are level, an airplane is well mannered and slow to anger. If you pull its nose up and then release the controls, it puts its nose back down; if you push it down, it answers by rearing up. Like horseback riding, flying consists mostly of leaving the beast alone. The problem is that this particular beast does not stay on the trail unguided, and once it strays, it develops a strong impulse to self-destruct.
-- William Langewiesche, "The Turn," The Atlantic

This plane smells awful. It must be a seven farty seven.
-- Gin and Tacos, Facebook

Yeah.Collapse )

Current Mood: sick
Sunday, March 11th, 2018
7:14 am
Quotes, I Don't Know Anything Anymore Edition
Filleting a soul takes a subtle knife.
-- N__B, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

"Carefully written, fact-checked essay in the streets; unmoderated comments section in the sheets."
-- funny tag line from Connor Dunlap, "Build A Dating Profile And We'll Reveal What Type Of Date It Will Get You," Buzzfeed

Well, you know the saying: Roses are reddish, violets are bluish, a leprechaun told me Saint Padraig was Jewish!
-- Nechama Anne Goldfarb, Facebook, comments

Probably was the only time my name has been mentioned in the National Enquirer.
-- gynecological oncologist Dr. David Scott Miller, interviewed in "Amazing Medical Stories: Season 2, Episode 2," on a woman's 156 pound tumour

Techno-weenie hubris is a hell of a drug. There seems to be something about (successfully) doing large-scale software development that triggers the belief (in some people) that they can apply that expertise to everything in the world and it will all be so much better.
-- Steeplejack, Balloon Juice, comments

Short short...Collapse )
Thursday, March 1st, 2018
8:32 pm
Quotes, Rabbi O'Caplahan Edition
Alberta is a lovely place. It's all the fucking Albertans I can't stand.
-- Brownian, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

ſuck oſſ

"Suck oss"?
-- Pseudonym and Pere Ubu, Alicublog, comments

I snore like a tin shed full of idling chainsaws
-- LascauxCaveman, Wonkette, comments

Q: What do you call a flying primate? A: A hot air baboon!
-- from "Pilot Jokes," Jokes4Us.com

[T]he same jackwagon jizz puddles screeching and gibbering about "liberal nanny states" are always the same ones champing at their ball gags for a fascist daddy state
-- Hurley, Byrd, Facebook, comments

Cigareets and whusky and wild, wild wimmen...Collapse )

Current Mood: sore
Saturday, February 17th, 2018
7:39 pm
The head of recruitment at the place where I had the tentative job offer called me and said that Corporate Security has rejected my background check, but allegedly "to protect my privacy" they won't tell me why, so they're rescinding my offer. It must be something about my past employment history, but I don't know what.

I don't know what to do from here. I've got no money left, I've got nowhere to go, I have no favours left to call in from anyone anywhere, and I don't have any other pending job leads, and no chance of getting another job before my next month's rent is due, and my parents can't give me any more money.

I'm out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas.

If you know of any quick freelancing work I could take, let me know. I could also use the offer of crash space (Greater Toronto Area or SW Ontario), cash, or, as a last resort, does anybody want to foster Izzy?

Current Mood: sick
Thursday, February 15th, 2018
7:08 pm
Quotes, Don't, Blue Jeans Won't Cut At The Seams Like You Want Them To Edition
I said I was a feminist on another blog this morning and was accused of wanting to drive white men into extinction. I considered replying with “of course! Starting with YOU!!”
-- Karen, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Every time I fly and am forced to remove my shoes, I'm grateful Richard Reid is not known as the Underwear Bomber.
-- Douglas Manuel, aerospace executive regards airport security. Reported in USA Today, 13 March 2003, spotted at skygod.com

ſuck oſſ

"Suck oss"?
-- Pseudonym and Pere Ubu, Alicublog, comments

I snore like a tin shed full of idling chainsaws
-- LascauxCaveman, Wonkette, comments

I blatantly look like I'm trying to interact with a foreign object.
-- Lia, interviewed in "Extraordinary Bodies: My Choice - Young and Sterile," on how she doesn't get along with children

This is the last song...Collapse )

Current Mood: crushed
Wednesday, February 7th, 2018
12:22 pm
Quotes, Real Life Bond Villain Edition
Apropos of nothing, do the laws pertaining to the desecration of irony's corpse vary from state to state?
-- mds, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

The man is such a tool I don't know why he's not hanging from pegboard.
-- D Sidhe, Alicublog, comments

"Fuck off" or "I hate you" is the response to the best puns, imo.
-- UndevelopedImage, Reddit, comments

I was just telling someone who was on fire "You should not be on fire. Have you tried _not_ combusting?"
-- James Nicoll, Facebook, comments

Neoliberals do it in budget restraints.
-- Fair Economist, Balloon Juice, comments

Moonraker?Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Sunday, January 28th, 2018
10:21 pm
Quotes, Everybody Hurts Sometimes Edition
Over at my place we call [Stephen] Miller PeeWee Hermann Goering (though truthfully he looks more like Goebbels).
-- Tengrain, Alicublog, comments

And ol' man Mac Smith that had the white store up there had a black cat that was just as black as the ace of spades. That thing had white spots all over it after the atomic blast. He sold it to some tourist for five dollars, I think, as a curiosity.
-- local rancher Holm Bursom, interviewed in "The Day After Trinity"

Dad is a lanky as hell 21-year old composed mostly of technical jargon and acne...
-- Tumblr user gallusrostromegalus, "The 1969 Easter Mass Incident," spotted on Facebook

Valery: Gene, be gentle. Imagine you're dealing with a woman.
Gene: I've never dealt with a woman rotating on all axes.
-- dialogue from "Salyut-7," in translation from Russian, on trying to dock a Soyuz with the out of control Salyut

But if the snickers commercials say I’m not myself when I’m hungry, and I’m always hungry, who am I?
-- @RylanLewandowsk, Twitter

More!Collapse )
Saturday, January 13th, 2018
9:11 pm
Quotes, I'm Going to Pieces Edition
When I was the Director of Weapon Development, I was unaware of a large number of accidents and incidents because I had no access to the information.
-- former Sandia Labs Director of Weapon Development Bob Peurifoy, interviewed in "American Experience: Command and Control" [By "accident" he probably means here an incident that involved dead/wounded casualties, and "incident" one without, or a "near miss." -- ?!]

Trolls famously justify their shittiness: "If you're getting flak, you're over the target."
Things is, right wingers have always had a hate-hate kill-it-with-fire relationship with the truth. They become right wingers because they can't deal with reality.
-- tsam100, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

P. putida CBB5, a nonengineered, wild-type variety found in soil, can live on pure caffeine and has been observed to break caffeine down into carbon dioxide and ammonia.
-- from the Wikipedia entry for Pseudomonas putida

as my grandmother used to say, he don't believe fat meat is greasy...
-- @BloggerX1, Twitter

In high school, I told a girl who was way out of my league, "You should give me your number." She asked, "Why would I do that?" I said, "Because if I just dial randomly, it will take forever to call you..." Waited to be shot down. But she laughed...and gave it to me! We were together for seven years.
-- relativex, Reddit, comments

Clicky clicky clicky...Collapse )

Current Mood: in pain
Thursday, January 11th, 2018
10:46 pm
And when I *do* catch a break...
Last night around 5 I decided I was finally going to go to get the groceries I desperately need. There was freezing mist going on, which looks like normal mist or drizzle, but freezes as soon as it hits the ground. I hit a thick patch of ice on the sidewalk that I wasn't expecting, since the ground just looked wet. My feet shot forward out from under me, and I smashed to the ground flat on my back. I didn't hit my head, but I whammed my back really hard on the sidewalk.

I screamed for a good minute straight, and then caught my breath, fumbled out my phone, and called 911. It took over an hour for the ambo to get there, because four of them got diverted to higher-priority calls. By that time, my whole back and hips were locked in an incredible spasm, with occasional "super-spasms" on top. A nice lady named Kathy who is a kindergarten teacher and earns every penny of what they pay her and then some, and a nice guy named Joe who's one of my nearly-immediate neighbours, stayed with me until the ambulance came. By then I was soaked and really cold, so the spasm was genuinely agonizing.

Finally got to the hospital, and they sent me to a ward that was handling nothing but ice-related injuries and fractures. Nurse gave me lots of good pain medications, and I started feeling pretty relaxed. Radiology showed that I have a compression fracture of my first lumbar vertebra. I'm waiting for a follow-up call from the hospital's spine clinic for aftercare. I don't yet know how long it'll take to heal. In the meantime, I'm trying to keep it supported, keep moving as much as possible in gentle ways so my back doesn't lock up again, and hoping for the best.

I can, at least, walk under my own power.

I did manage to go get my groceries today, but now I'm utterly done in.

The good news is, though, I got a job offer from the big finance place. So yay!

Current Mood: pissed off
Friday, December 29th, 2017
2:41 pm
Quotes, I Am Not a Replicant Edition
We eyed each other across a trembling world.
-- President Dwight D. Eisenhower, quoted in "The Missiles of October: What the World Didn't Know," of Nikita Kruschev's visit to Washington, DC

We have a pathology in this country. We're a self-governing country whose citizens don't actually believe in self-governance and in fact don't know how their government actually works.
-- NonyNony, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

DY: Oooh, I think we got struck by lightning.
UNK: Yeah, we heard a pop back here. What do we have to do after a lightning strike?
DY: Uh, the only thing I see back here is that Dave Hinton is glowing red and his hair's all kinky.
-- NASA test pilot Dave Yenni and team member, radio dialogue from "Anatomy of Disaster: Superstorm"

Rice: Amazon subscription delivery
Rice maker: Amazon Prime delivery
Rice rinsing bowl suitable for bathroom sink: Amazon Prime delivery
Tea bowl: Amazon Prime delivery
Titanium chopsticks: Amazon Prime delivery
Ochazuke flavor packet: Amazon Prime delivery
Tea for ochazuke: "some deliveries have been delayed..."
Sheets: Amazon Prime delivery
Kitten: Not actually a kitten, but a small fluffy demon summoned by the smell of the salmon-pellets in the soup flavor packet; Amazon Hellportal 5-second delivery
-- Cassandra Simplex, Facebook, comments, on how she can live on Amazon deliveries

In capitalist America, bank robs you!
-- LucasLeArtist, Reddit, comments

Ahem...Collapse )

Current Mood: sick
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