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The Real Interrobang -- You STILL Can't Do That On Slashdot
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in realinterrobang's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Thursday, October 24th, 2019
8:07 pm
Quotes, Waiting for Godot Edition
There is nothing on this earth less transgressive than straight, white, male comedians complaining about Political Correctness.
-- Facebones, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Yeah, it DOES seem like harmless fun to dipshit toxic men, until you break their arm for committing sexual assault. Consequences, boys. Consequences.
-- mountainofsleep, Twitter

I have ADHD so start my day with coffee and dexamphetamine. Electricity says “Hi” and a passing
gravity wave asked how your mum is doing.
-- Chris Gianacas, Facebook, comments

Left handed, dyspraxic and coeliac! I'm like the unicorn nobody asked for.
-- haemwrecker, Reddit, comments

Now; the ponds that dot the zoo property ... were also full of ginormous koi fish, some of whom by now are at least three feet long. Sensing an opportunity to cash in on the koi, the zoo put up little vending machines all over the place that dispense handfuls of food pellets. I swear to god the fish can hear the crank turning, and will show up at the nearest railing, blooping expectantly at whoever happens to be standing there and doing their best to appear starving and desperate. And they weren’t the only ones who learned to associate the sound with the imminent arrival of food. The Canada geese knew a good deal when they saw one, and had long since ceased to migrate anyway. They formed roving gangs of thug-geese and staked out their turf around the vending machines, ready to mug anyone with pocket change. Picture yourself as a small child squaring off with a bird fully prepared to strip search you while standing on your feet and yelling “HWAAAAAKK!!” in your face. It’s traumatizing to you and deeply hilarious to your parents.
-- indirispeaks, "The Great Flamingo Uprising," zookeeperproblems.tumblr.com

Uh huh...Collapse )

Current Mood: anxious
Sunday, September 15th, 2019
5:40 pm
Quotes, Secret Cloud Bunker Edition
Now is not the time to politicize politics.
-- hellslittlestangel, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

In 1935, Hawaii's Mauna Loa erupted, threatening the town of Hilo with its lava. Admittedly, that's an average Tuesday in Hawaii, but famed volcanologist Thomas Jaggar was determined to teach that lava a lesson it wouldn't soon forget.

Luckily, there was a nearby U.S. Army Air Corps base, commanded by a young George S. Patton, who of course later became famous for wearing ridiculous pants while standing in front of a big American flag. At Jaggar's prompting, Patton ordered his planes to take to the skies and bomb the erupting volcano. The hope was that the explosions would collapse the volcano's underground vents, blocking the flow of lava to the surface. It wasn't so much "mad science" as "Screw it, let's give it a shot" science. But it was one hell of a shot; Patton deployed a squadron of biplanes to swoop down and drop 20 600-pound bombs. The explosions, of course, sent molten lava hurling 200 feet into the air to burn holes in the planes' wings.
-- Alex Hanton, "5 Bonkers Supervillain Plans Real Governments Actually Tried," Cracked

It may seem medieval for an elected official to leverage the monarchy , but as the old saying goes "the past is prorogue."
-- @_mike_schilling, Twitter

Whenever my parents talk to other parents about shenanigans their young children pulled, my dad brings up the time he came home from work to see 3-year-old me up on the kitchen counter with an entire package of cinnamon raisin bagels having been split in half and de-raisined. When he asked me what I was doing, I very proudly exclaimed, 'I'm eating raisins!'
-- alexm42, Reddit

I may have shared this story before but I Love it, so here goes. Several years back I was listening to "SCI FRIDAY" with Ira Plato on the npr. His guest was one of the founders of the internet (no it wasn't Al Gore) It was the 25th anniversary of the internet, They lamented on all sorts of things that have changed since its inception. At the close of the interview Ira asked his guest; So what has been the most surprising thing you have seen since this all began.. (Now I am waiting with baited breath for some deep reflection perhaps how the transfer of data has exponentially increased our understanding of the universe.) He simply responded with. "I didn't know there were so many cats"
-- Jim Dandy, Facebook, comments

Goin' on up!Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Monday, August 26th, 2019
12:47 am
Quotes, Burning Up the House Edition
Will medicare for all pay for rocket surgery?
-- Portlander, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Gosh, it's almost like the same right wing capitalists that claim we need a wall are also the same right wing capitalists dependent on undocumented laborers.
-- Jessica Barrington, Facebook, comments

Voted the world's most scenic landing location using a scheduled flight, Barra's airport is claimed to be the only airport in the world to have regular scheduled flights landing on a beach. The aircraft currently in operation on Barra is the de Havilland Canada DHC-6 Twin Otter, flown by Loganair to/from Glasgow. There are usually flights every day of the week in the summer.
-- from the Wikipedia page for Barra, an island in the Outer Hebrides, Scotland

“When I told one officer who came out to my house that they threatened to send me drugs, he said ‘Okay, well just let me know when the cocaine arrives,'” Holzman recalled. “It was pretty funny because the other responding officer approached us and only caught the last thing his partner said, and suddenly looked at the other officer with deadly seriousness.”
-- Brian Krebs, "Neo-Nazi SWATters Target Dozens of Journalists," Krebs on Security

[W]hen our family met with President Obama, he immediately addressed my 11-year-old daughter and told her that he could tell she was the troublemaker of the family. Not only was he right, but he gave us the ability to continually remind her of this official presidential assessment of her character.
-- look-a-monkey, Balloon Juice, comments

Ahem.Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, August 14th, 2019
4:35 pm
Quotes, Who is Now Edition
I hate to state the obvious, but there is a tree in the middle of the runway!
-- Ari, dialogue from "The Red Sea Diving Resort"

Tourism, in particular, hasn’t changed much in two or three millennia. Archaeologists working in Egypt’s Valley of the Kings found Greek and Latin graffiti in the tomb of Pharaoh Ramses VI, who ruled from 1132 to 1125 BCE. They say it dated from around 332 BCE, when Alexander the Great conquered Egypt, to the fall of the Roman Empire around 476 CE. Many of the hastily etched comments would look right at home among modern Yelp reviews. “I visited, and I did not like anything except the sarcophagus!" wrote one visitor. "I cannot read the hieroglyphs!” complained another. The tomb walls even contain comments on the original “posts” from other visitors: “Why do you care that you cannot read the hieroglyphs?” some ancient Roman visitor wrote in response to the comment above. “I do not understand your concern.”
-- Kiona M. Smith, "A 2,000-year-old stylus makes a point about ancient Roman humor," Ars Technica

Supply & Demand: We Supply nothing and you give into to our Demands.
-- Sugarfreelowfat, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

In 1991 I was driving cross country and stopped in downtown St. Louis. I parked my car and walked over to a group of cops and asked them if it was alright to park where I was. They looked at my NY plates, said yes, then told me to stay away from the n!gg*rs. I remember it like yesterday.
-- Matthew Cottom, Facebook, comments

Insane Clown Posse on Kid Rock: "He has spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it is that people like about us. And believe me, we have always wondered the same thing about him."
-- @jsmooth995, Twitter

Who now?Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Tuesday, July 30th, 2019
7:39 pm
Quotes, Money Embarrassments Edition
Pineapples belong on pizza the way... dreadlocks belong on Captain Picard.
-- Eli Sacks, Facebook, comments

I used to think Trump was a more racist Archie Bunker but he’s really a more racist David Duke.
-- Damon Porter, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

These are not the Napoleons of crime. They’re morons. We were letting morons beat us.
-- former Cuyahoga County, Ohio prosecutor Tim McGuinty, quoted in Cory Doctorow, "Lessons from testing decades of forgotten rape kits: serial rapists are common, they don't follow a pattern, they're not very bright, and they're often the same men who commit acquaintance rape," BoingBoing

Let me personalize this: I fucking love my neighborhood. I love the black women artists who live downstairs from me who. I love the Latino kids who ride their bikes up and down the street with rap music on old school boomboxes playing. I love the Indian family across the street who have a disabled son whose Chinese bus driver is always overjoyed to see. I love the Dominican family behind me who have parties that always end up with musicians playing amazing tunes. I love the young Puerto Rican parents who have a car with a license frame that says, "My other car is the Tardis." I love the white people who showed up to offer comfort to the Pakistani owner of the corner bodega when his father died. It ain't perfect. We've had crime and fights and everything (although that's changed since the neighborhood has become even more diverse). But I fucking love this America. I don't know who is here legally or illegally. And I don't give a shit. I just care that we all treat each other with respect. If you don't love this, too, then you don't love this country.
-- Rude, "Let's Have This Goddamn Political Race War Already," The Rude Pundit

Arggh!Collapse )

Current Mood: sick
Monday, July 15th, 2019
5:57 am
Quotes, Izzmonster Tummy Edition
Is that a saying yet?
"In a runaway reaction, the best reaction is to RUN AWAY"
-- acronus, YouTube, comments, on "Runaway: Explosion at T2 Laboratories"

I lost three sirens during the tornado. I had somebody complain to me later on that I turned one of them off during the tornado. [Audience laughs.] I said, "No, that was the one that disappeared." Four hundred pound piece of metal, still -- I never found it. I have no idea what happened to it.
-- Joplin, MO Emergency Management Director, in "20 Minutes in May," lecture on emergency management during and after the 2015 F-5 Joplin tornado

America is brimming over with amazing ideas, all implemented in the most ass-backward and idiotic way.
-- Michael Toledano, Facebook, comments

Just ahead of the Canada Day long weekend, a Saskatoon man may have committed the most Canadian act ever: buying a full-sized canoe with a briefcase full of Canadian Tire money.
-- Morgan Modjeski, "Only in Canada: Saskatoon man buys canoe with briefcase full of Canadian Tire cash," CBC News

The pilot was too close to the rocks. Touch the... [makes circular motion with hand over head] *whp whp*... Everybody down.
-- Mont-Blanc mountain guide Phillipe Choub, interviewed in "Mountain Rescue Episode 4," describing a helicopter crash he was in, in English, and communicating spectacularly

Keeping me alive...Collapse )

Current Mood: sick
Sunday, June 16th, 2019
1:06 pm
Quotes, Bad Movies and Worse Money Edition
[I]n an ideal world, there would be gay party hacks across the board. No good reason why center-right parties should be deprived of loyal people with a variety of orientations.
-- Richard Hoch, Facebook, comments

I was ready for a woman President in 1972 when, as an 8 year-old suburban white boy, I was mesmerized by Shirley Chisholm, the first black female candidate for President. Why is it taking so many people so long to catch up to that little boy who had so much hope 47 years ago?
-- @AlwaysShanePS, Twitter, comments

I remember getting hit on the head with the plane.
-- QF 72 passenger Caroline Southcott, interviewed in "Australia Saturday Night: Qantas flight 72"

Oh, luck. Luck! You always need a bit of luck, you know (laughs) in any emergency.
-- Captain (Ret.) Michael Lloyd, interviewed in "Australia Saturday Night: Mayday: True terror on board the Viking Sky cruise ship"

It's a rich man's world.Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Tuesday, April 30th, 2019
3:17 am
Quotes, Now Is It Time to Panic? Edition
Minnesotan here. Our biggest export is pot holes. We've stopped referring to them in inches, we now use the number of beds and baths they can accommodate.

There's a really nice 4 bedroom 3 bathroom one on Broadway just east of Marshall Street right now.
-- Michael Collins and Elena Hahn, Facebook, comments

The time for playing nice with these assholes is over.
-- Jim Krepke, dialogue from "Unspeakable: Unsafe," S1E4

Nazi beliefs are based on ideas of strength, so punching them is a practical deconstruction of their worldview. I call it “Percussive Epistemology”
-- u/TheSkepticalTerrier

Johnson (news anchor): What are we doing?
Hayes: Gettin' you on the air! We need to warn people!
Johnson: How? There's no way to upload a signal!
Hayes: Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoh, you're at Cal Tech!
-- dialogue from "San Andreas"

When one is tired and unwashed, I think one is legitimately entitled to refuse to feel noble.
-- Captain Charles May, extract from diaries, voiceover in "The Somme" (BBC documentary)

Argh.Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, March 20th, 2019
1:47 am
Quotes, Season of Miracles Edition
Is that [a "Montreal bagel"] a hockey term? Like when a goalie is putting on a shut out but will only pass the puck to French-speaking members of his team?

"Hey Gordy, are we seeing a true Montreal bagel right in front of us?"
"We sure are, Wayne, and this game is a true barn burner. Just kiddin' folks, there's no fire here, just good, wholesome, hockey, the way it's meant to be played. And while I have your attention I want to remind you that hockey night in Canada is brought to you by Kaiser Permanente managed health options."
"Really, Gordy?"
"No, Wayne. We have universal healthcare, it's great. No need to buy some expensive plan economically invested in not treating you. Just go to the hospital if you need to folks, it's fantastic. Tonight's game is brought to you by Tim Horton's, again. Don't worry if those timbits make you pre-diabetic, because health care is free!"
"I sure do love Tim Horton's, Gordy."
"Of course you do, Wayne. If you didn't I'd have to kill you myself and dump your body in the Humber river to be eaten by panfish and trout. We've been friends for going on 20 years but I'd do it in a heartbeat and I wouldn't even look back to see the red of your blood spreading over the surface."
"Oh there, Gordy, there's some of that good Canadian comedy I love so much."
"Sure Wayne. I was joking. Let's go with that. Anyway, let's enjoy the rest of this Montreal bagel. The goalie's now in a fist fight with a member of his own team who said they should only teach English in schools. It's a real good one!"
-- Nobdy, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

My ex and I had a rescue cat and then she got a kitten to keep him company. When we split she moved back home where there were 2 other Cats. Apollo would be meaowing at the fridge by himself every morning to no avail, so he asked to go out. He rounded up the other 3..They would end up asking to all come in and then would gather at the fridge and meow .... Apollo had formed a Union ... Strength in numbers!!! Another victory for the Cat union local # Trois Cat Sank .
-- Jake Kay, Facebook, comments

Not much damage, didnt hurt anyone. This is definitely a Canadian nuclear accident. I'm surprised the core didnt apologize
-- Barry Soetoro, YouTube, comments, on Plainly Difficult, "Brief History of: The NRX reactor Accident," Canada's first nuclear incident

Ah, CPAC. The Conservative Political Action Conference. It’s like Burning Man for Republicans... Also, Donald Trump fucked a flag live on stage like some strange textile variation of a Tijuana donkey show.
-- Jim Wright, "Last Refuge," Stonekettle Station

What is all the fun about war, if not to loot your neighbour?
-- Professor Yosef Garfinkel, lecture "Searching for the Historical King David: Khirbet Qeiyafa and Khirbet al-Ra’i,” on wars in antiquity

Yay...Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Monday, March 4th, 2019
11:43 pm
Quotes, Antisemeets Edition
The page is called Begin with Yes. Is there a page called Ben Gurion with No?
-- Naftali Schindler, Facebook, comments

When the only tool you have is a ratchet, every problem looks like you're a fucking idiot.
-- Xecky Gilchrist, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

I’m not rich I’m financially corpulent.
-- @activistmode, Twitter

Susan [Backlinie] and Stephen [Spielberg] were looping the screams. And he had her tilt her head back, and he poured water down her throat while she screamed...which is now known as 'waterboarding'. [smiles] So Stephen is actually guilty of a war crime...
-- Richard Dreyfuss, interviewed in "Jaws: The Inside Story"

Nobody owns a cat. Whether a cat owns you is a matter of opinion. Your opinion doesn't count.
-- text from a cat meme

Awk!Collapse )

Current Mood: high
Tuesday, February 12th, 2019
9:29 pm
Quotes, You Don't Have to Mean It for It to be True Edition
I never forgot having a conversation on the bus with a Vietnamese classmate when I was in high school. She was working full time, raising two of her minor sisters while waiting for her parents to get here, taking college classes and somehow graduating at the same time I was. I have worked pretty hard at certain times in my life but I cannot imagine doing that much as an 18 year old.
-- Anna in PDX, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Will (to friend): Do you like apples?
Friend: Yeah.
Will: I got her number. How do you like them apples?
-- dialogue from Good Will Hunting

Pre-WWII electric guitars are not the plunky, rock-incapable jazz boxes everyone assumes they are. The round, smooth electric jazz guitar tone that we think of as 'electric jazz guitar tone' is an artifact of the 1950s, rendered mandatory by the failure of mainstream jazz in the mid-1960s to maintain itself as a living artistic medium - i.e. for the substance of jazz to be an argument with other jazz in the language of jazz.

That woodenly fluty doop-de-doot tone, the handiwork of such giants of the mid-century professional jazz-guitar racket as Kenny Burrell, Herb Ellis, and Barney Kessel, operates on me as a potent signifier of elevator travel and telephone holding, a sound of competently sight-read notes recited by means of guitar. It is, to me, a tonal voice difficult to hear past, nearly as challenged by bad context as the slow-and-level alto sax.
-- Gavin Von Em, Facebook

When you can fit attendees of your Islamphobia protest comfortably into a Ford Fiesta, maybe it’s time you did just that, and then drive it off a pier.
-- antifainternational, "An Antifascist Weekend Recap," tumblr

I've never actually strapped a dead pig to the front of a submarine before.
-- Jeremy Wade, "River Monsters: Killers from the Abyss"

Argh...Collapse )

Current Mood: sick
Monday, January 28th, 2019
10:20 pm
Quotes, At Home Again, Naturally Edition
"Why don't more Jews, who benefit from GOP tax cuts more than any other single ethnic group, vote overwhelmingly for the party of Christian theocrats who openly root for them all to leave America and burn in eternal hellfire?" --a 40-year series
-- AMK, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

We said we didn't need no help. Good thing nobody's listenin' to us.
-- dialogue from "The Rescue of Jessica McClure"

roasting marshmallows over the dumpsterfire

Jack Daniels nipping at our noses...
-- Michael Yosef Miller and Amy Q. Harris, Facebook, comments

"Let the market decide, except whenever it means white guys will have to face the consequences of their actions in any way" really is libertarianism in a nutshell
-- @x_t_pd Twitter

“SNEEZED AND A COMPUTER KEYBOARD KEY CAME OUT RT. NOSTRIL, SNEEZED AGAIN & ANOTHER ONE ALMOST CAME OUT”
-- chart description quoted by Barry Petchesky, in "What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?", Deadspin

Argh.Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Thursday, December 27th, 2018
11:02 am
Quotes, What Is This Edition
"Would you hit a Nazi with a baby stroller?" "Well, I'd prefer a brick, but, sure, that would work too."

I mean I'll take the baby out of the stroller first, I'm not a monster

So you can fill it with bricks instead?
-- Lee Rudolph, FromInsideTheHouse, and epidemiologist, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

We said we didn't need no help. Good thing nobody's listenin' to us.
-- dialogue from "The Rescue of Jessica McClure"

roasting marshmallows over the dumpsterfire

Jack Daniels nipping at our noses...
-- Michael Yosef Miller and Amy Q. Harris, Facebook, comments

“SNEEZED AND A COMPUTER KEYBOARD KEY CAME OUT RT. NOSTRIL, SNEEZED AGAIN & ANOTHER ONE ALMOST CAME OUT”
-- chart description quoted by Barry Petchesky, in "What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?", Deadspin

Keta walks into a bar and stops dead in his tracks. Behind the bar is a horse, mixing drinks. Horse looks at Keta and says "What- you don't think a horse can own a bar?"
Keta says " I'm surprised the ferret sold the place. "
-- Worriedman, Alicublog, comments

I'm moving this feature soon.Collapse )

Current Mood: sick
Tuesday, December 4th, 2018
9:18 pm
Quotes, Slowed Up Edition
So is there some god-damned reichwing "think tank" inventing new bogus terms for "racist", "white-supremacist", "neo-nazi", "nazi", "fascist", and other perfectly cromulent terms for what these disgusting people are? And who do they think they're fooling anyway? Anyone with any sense can figure out that "white racialist" is no different from "white supremacist"...both the rotten people who think white supremacy is peachy keen, and the people who condemn white nationalism...so what's the point? Is it just to give the media enough cover to slip it in without their editors or owners noticing...? Nazis need to be punched...no matter what they call themselves. As the Blues Brothers said, "I hate Illinois Nazis!..."
-- MikeEss, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

I have A Thing I say when a year has been sh*tty. It wasn't a BAD year, it was A Learning Year. That said, 2018 was A Learning Year that Really Learned Me Right In My Learn, Just Super Hard DIRECTLY In The Learn, Jesus Lord, The LEARNING.
-- @LadyHawkins, Twitter, h/t Daphne Arthur

[O]ne of the biggest obstacles that Wiley and other food safety crusaders faced was a very American problem: in short, people didn’t want to be told what to do or what to eat—and even if they wereliterally eating poison, those who opposed these kinds of food safety regulations wanted the choice, dammit! The debate over individual rights versus the common good hamstrung progress in this arena for far longer than was sensible or even reasonable, but, as Blum says, when the 1906 Food and Drug law did finally pass, it established for the first time that the U.S. government considered protecting consumers part of its obligation, a precedent that stands as a landscape-altering moment in this country.
-- Kim Kelly, "These Men Ate Poison So You Could Have the FDA," Gizmodo

David Davis sincerely believed the EU is just a front for German domination of Europe. Hence he also believed quite genuinely that the Brexit negotiations would be conducted not with Brussels but over a convivial weissbräu and schnitzel in Berlin and that frictionless trade would be decreed immediately because the German car manufacturers wished it so: sincerely fatuous self-delusion.
-- Fintan O'Toole, "Historians will not believe the sheer ignorance of Brexit supporters," The Irish Times

I think it's the second-best job in the world. (pause) But I'm never going to be an astronaut, so...it's good enough for me.
-- helicopter paramedic, voice-over in "Air Ambulance ER: Helping a Motorcyclist After a Bad Accident"

Anybody have any suggestions about moving?Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Tuesday, November 13th, 2018
8:23 pm
Quotes, Recursive Karma's Gonna Getcha Edition
I'll say this about the proud white supremacist movement: it's made it easy to identify who not to invite to Thanksgiving this year.
-- CV Danes, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Ring Ring...All rugs calling!
-- subject line from a promotional e-mail from Rugs.ca

"The Whataboutis seemed to roam freely across the landscape. Nobody knows where they came from, but they dominated the culture for decades"
-- Jim Weill, Facebook, comments [Bonus points if you heard this in David Attenborough's voice. -- ?!]

[A] lot of us already struggle to rise [even] post-dawn, and it’s disingenuous to suggest that there’s some secret stash of hours in the 24-hour day that we could make better use of, if only we were dedicated enough. Waking up early necessarily comes at the cost of something else. ... not all of us need or want to be overachievers who send emails time-stamped at 5:14 am. For some, the real aspiration is to be a well-rested person who finally has time to watch Killing Eve.
-- Rosie Spinks, "Waking up early won’t change your life—but it’s awesome for capitalism," Quartz

Mike (Secret Service Agent): Hey, Connor. Come on. Scoot back, put your belt on.
Connor (US President's approximately 10 year old son): What if I don't?
Mike: Then O'Neill here is gonna punch you in the nuts. C'mon.
-- dialogue from Olympus Has Fallen

G-d is an iron...Collapse )

Current Mood: hungry
Tuesday, October 30th, 2018
4:04 am
Quotes, Regresso Edition
Still advocating for replacing "lone wolf" with "sad worm."
-- Eric Scharf, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

How can I put it politely? Men just bring a whole new different meaning to the word "challenging." [laughs]
-- Air Ambulance paramedic and deputy director of operations Jane Peacock, interviewed in "Air Ambulance ER: 65 Year Old Motorcyclist Crashes His Bike"

My own family nicknamed me "Sneaky Pete."
-- Bryan Cranston, Emmy award acceptance speech, 2014

Landed. Killed Germans. F****d off.
-- Anders Lassen, quoted in Matthew Gaskill, "Maverick SAS Warrior: After Battle Report Was Just 5 Words, One Being the ‘F’ Word"

Thank you for calling Bubba's Bombs. You name the room; it goes KABOOM!
-- Jay Knox, Facebook, comments

Oh no...Collapse )

Current Mood: awake
Thursday, October 18th, 2018
9:11 pm
Quotes, Legalized It Edition
First world .0001% problems:
Him: "Honey, where are the keys to the Maserati?"
Her: "Red or blue one?"
Him: "The red one."
Her: "I think I left the keys on the yacht."
Him: "Which yacht?"
-- Lurks, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Drug Ford should die in a large, angry fire made up smaller, angrier fires
-- Gregory Raculus, Facebook, comments

I said, "Jimmy, why don't you have just one girlfriend?" and he said, "Why have one when you can have three?"
-- friend of victim interviewed in "Fear Thy Neighbor: Home is Where the Hearse Is"

If all of these kids ever met a true gangster, they would wet their pants.
-- Lt. (Ret.) Joe Kenda, "Homicide Hunter: .357 Magnum"

Susan B. Anthony was jailed and threatened. Alice Paul went on a hunger strike behind bars, and today white women vote for men who hate women, because then, they think, those men won’t hate them.
-- Allison Hantschel, "Keep Going," First Draft

Tired...Collapse )

Current Mood: exhausted
Tuesday, October 9th, 2018
9:10 am
Quotes, This is a Low, But It Can Hurt You Edition
Special LGM edition

If you think things can’t get worse, you don’t understand Republicans.
-- LosGatosCA, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

I'm constantly assured the saintly "checks and balances" preclude any outrageous ratfucking, and yet there's any number of rats constantly limping about with extremely sore cocks. Strange, that.
-- keta, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

All ideologies have opportunists figuring out how to work it cynically for their own selfish gain. But in conservatism, working the system for your own selfish gain is the ideology.
-- CP, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

The most effective way to lead a mob is to follow it.
-- Thursday, Lawyers, Guns,and Money, comments

Sigh...Collapse )

Current Mood: annoyed
Thursday, September 27th, 2018
10:06 pm
Quotes, Who By Anxiety Edition
We thought Philip K. Dick had died, but actually, we are living in one of his novels. Not just that, we’re living in one of his bad novels, the ones that he wrote in eight hours while high on speed when his rent was overdue.
-- Seth Gordon, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

I like the idea that conservatives have "opinions" instead of "methods by which they cause harm."
-- Michael Emkay, Facebook, comments

I was 15 years old. I did report i to my school counselor after the fact and later to therapist. The counselor and therapist told me not to report the boys because we were all drunk. And the boys would be branded for life. I am paying price. # WhyIDidntReport
-- Jackie31057079, Twitter

We're trained to help people. We're trained to rescue people. And, um...[shakes head "no"] we couldn't do any of that.
-- former assistant Shanksville fire chief, Rick King, interviewed in "Behind the Scenes of 9/11"

Vermont. Where liberalism comes to kill itself with its own ideas.
-- Derelict, Alicublog, comments

Argh...Collapse )

Current Mood: anxious
Thursday, September 6th, 2018
10:41 pm
Quotes, Who By Fire Edition
I'm not going to be around much between now and the 11th, so have a memorial quotes post a bit early. -- ?!

Wife: Have you got anything without racism?
Waitress: Well, there's racism, tax cuts, Bible-thumping and racism, that's not got much racism in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY racism!
Man: Why can't she have nationalism, racism and tax cuts?
Wife: THAT'S got racism in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much racism in it as racism, tax cuts, Bible-thumping and racism, has it?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like racism !
Republicans: Lovely racism ! Wonderful racism !
Waitress: Shut up!
-- cleek, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Ruth Badass Ginsburg
...I may have that middle name wrong.
-- Jeff Williamson, Facebook, comments

He’s an idiot. It’s pointless to try to convince him of anything. He’s gone off the rails. We’re in Crazytown. I don’t even know why any of us are here. This is the worst job I’ve ever had.
-- former Trump chief of staff John Kelly, quoted in Philip Rucker and Robert Costa, "Bob Woodward’s new book reveals a ‘nervous breakdown’ of Trump’s presidency," The Washington Post

[T]enders of a 23-Cent Heart Miracle seem to work just fine on the readers of the magazine where Ann Coulter began her journalistic ascent in the late nineties by pimping the notion that liberals are all gullible rubes. In an alternate universe where Coulter would be capable of rational self-reflection, it would be fascinating to ask her what she thinks about, say, the layout of HumanEvents.com on the day it featured an article headlined “Ideas Will Drive Conservatives’ Revival.” Two inches beneath that bold pronouncement, a box headed “Health News” included the headlines “Reverse Crippling Arthritis in 2 Days,” “Clear Clogged Arteries Safely & Easily—without drugs, without surgery, and without a radical diet,” and “High Blood Pressure Cured in 3 Minutes . . . Drop Measurement 60 Points.” It would be interesting, that is, to ask Coulter about the reflex of lying that’s now sutured into the modern conservative movement’s DNA—and to get her candid assessment of why conservative leaders treat their constituents like suckers.
-- Rick Perlstein, "The Long Con," The Baffler (2012)

When the scales fall from your eyes, make sure they don't hit you in the feet.
-- Charles P. Pierce, "Just Shut Up and Quit," Esquire

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