realinterrobang (realinterrobang) wrote,

Quotes, It's a Wonder I Can Think At All Edition

If at first you don’t survive, die, die again.
-- CaptainBringdown, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

Canada’s perspective is unique. Other than Mexicans, we are the people most vulnerable to Trump. If he actually does what he says he’s going to do, we are fucked. It’s all well and good for cynical tech-overlord and Trump supporter Peter Thiel to say that we are supposed to take Trump seriously but not literally. Tell that to the people watching the inauguration at the Canadian Embassy, who have to make decisions based on what they think the President of the United States is going to do. Almost $600 billion worth of annual trade is bound up in the answer. I pity the people in power in our country right now: The best thing would be for the President to forget we exist. But how are we supposed not to speak up when he stands against everything we stand for?
-- Stephen Marche, "This American Carnage," The Walrus

As one Muslim HuffPost employee put it recently after reading about the pig carcass in Oklahoma: “I swear I need to spread a rumor that Muslims don’t eat cupcakes.”
-- Christopher Matthias, "6 Rules Of Islamophobia In America," Huffington Post

#1984 has been my fave book for years. So excited to finally be able to live it. #TrumpsAmerica #alternativefacts
-- @patzimmy, Twitter

"Captain... I don't think the Constitution is gonna hold.... we've got breaches of the 1st, 4th and 10 Amendments!"
-- Charlie Schmehl, Facebook, comments

I really do despise most of my customers. Most of them are really horrible people. Their idea of a philosophical/ethical discussion is drawing a dialectic between black people and n***s. My business centers around commercial construction. Mainly: Hospitals, schools, government buildings, and a smaller portion of strip malls, retail, etc. The majority of it is partly or wholly funded by government entities of one kind or another. Yet the people making prevailing wage on these jobs (excellent pay and benefits for Spokane), despise any government spending. It’s baffling, really. They make their living from tax and spend liberals, yet despise the hell out of them. I don’t even know what to do with that paradox.
-- tsam, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

For some reason I just remembered that "Uber" is an anagram of "rube."
-- AGoodQuestion, Alicublog, comments

It should be an open border. Why do people need to have a fence to keep 'em out or keep 'em in? It's ridiculous. I wanna go wherever I wanna go, I'm an earthling. Why do you gotta have the government tell you what you can and cannot do? Most of them are unqualified to run their own life. Just leave me alone.
-- Bob Howger, quoted in John H. Richardson, "At the Border, You Either Want 'The Wall' or Know Why It'll Never Happen," Esquire

[Alex] Jones has claimed at various points that George Soros is planning to overthrow America and to install himself as its shadow president, and that Soros had aided the Nazis in stealing from Jews.
-- Stephen Marche, "This American Carnage," The Walrus

Fun Fact: Badlands NP today is home to 39 mammal species! (As part of budget restructuring, that number will be reduced by half by 2019.)
-- @BadlandsNPS, Twitter

In an age when people continue to go broke, homeless, or dead so that rich people can go on three Caribbean cruises a year instead of two, I will always maintain that the great fortune is the great crime.
-- CP, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

A 'hey you never know' is a poor excuse for believing in intrinsic value.
-- Mark, Science-Based Medicine, comments

Is there any more of a useless wet fart than a Strict Constructionist Fiscally Conservative But Socially Liberal?
-- Andrew Reeves, Facebook, comments

I have a hunch that body cameras will now work consistently when filming these scenarios. The same cameras that seem to always turn off right before an incident of police brutality will become the most reliable technology in the world when needed to film someone resisting arrest.
-- Shaun King, "Louisiana police chief charging people with a felony hate crime, punishable by 10 years in prison, if they resist arrest," New York Daily News

Trump’s Razor posits that the stupidest possible explanation for Trump’s behavior is probably correct.
-- @mattyglesias, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

[O]ne of the first college classes I took was, for complicated reasons, Visual Communications 101. The second or third day, the instructor popped a print ad for Cheerios up on his projector and said “Makes you pretty hungry, doesn’t it? Seeing those bits of styrofoam floating in Elmer’s glue?”
-- postmodulator, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

America is not the only one to fall. The ultranationalist parties of Europe—Front National in France, Viktor Orbán in Hungary, the Five Star Movement in Italy, and Jarosław Kaczyński in Poland—are no longer marginal. Hungary banned the practice of Islam in May, and used tear gas and fire hoses on refugees at the border in September. London, the great international city, has been rocked by a rise in hate crime following Brexit. Loathing for others is now a worldwide phenomenon.
-- Stephen Marche, "This American Carnage," The Walrus

I mention that I’m having cramps, having started a vengeful hell-period in the middle of Trump’s inauguration speech, as though my uterus had been trying to kick its way out of America in panic. Someone produces some painkillers from their belt and hands me some water to wash them down with. Solidarity happens in small ways.
-- Laurie Penny, "The Triumph of the Won’t," Pacific Standard Magazine

The perky obliviousness of those around me used to roll right off me. Now it is making me want to crawl out of my skin and tear this whole building apart. Their complacency is stifling and the fact that their idiot happiness and manipulative 'everything is great' attitude is always seen as more valid than my very real fear and anger because negative emotions must be supressed at all costs and GOD FUCKING FORBID ANYONE SHOULD BE UNCOMFORTABLE gets more and more bizarre every day. The dysfunction is palpable.
-- Stacy Magurkurth, Facebook, comments

We never really appreciate how many lives were probably saved throughout history by rebellious and/or lazy bureacrats
-- @niroscience, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

I guess when the .01% control over 80% of the wealth, they get tired of just making more money. Seeing how many of the 99.9% you can immiserate becomes the next challenge.
-- so-in-so, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

If you go poking around in the rightwing fever swamps, you will discover that Michelle Obama is actually a man, the kids are props, Barack Obama is gay, and the entire thing was a failed attempt at imposing Sharia. There are, quite literally, millions of people who believe this.
-- Derelict, Alicublog, comments

Walter, a Trump supporter from Virginia, said to me, “This isn’t what I thought it would be. I thought this was going to be like our version of Woodstock. Instead I’m just cold.” Susan from West Virginia said to me, “On the plus side, I guess it can’t get worse. And I’m still glad we’re going to get the Supreme Court. But today—this is sad.” Raymond from West Virginia shrugged his shoulders and said, “I thought it would be like one of his rallies. Instead, it’s this.” (Raymond then asked if I was Jewish. I said yes and he said “Just checking.” I said, “C’mon Raymond! Even your anti-Semitism sounds demoralized.” He looked down, sadly.)
-- Dave Zirin, "I Was at Trump’s Inauguration. It Was Tiny.", The Nation

Trump issues executive order sentencing anyone trying to escape from Syria, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and Yemen to death by whatever it is they're trying to escape
-- Leons Petražickis, Facebook, comments

The threat to cosmopolitanism is coming from both the right and the left. While the neonationalist right is reshaping global politics along the lines of racial and ethnic categories, the left has been consumed, almost entirely, by questions of cultural identity, problematizing cross-cultural exchange. Reading the books, playing the music, wearing the clothes, even eating the food of the other have become fraught gestures, burdened by the weight of collective guilt. All encounters across cultures now stand suspect of privilege and appropriation. Those who believe with the great African Roman writer Terence Afer that “I am human, and nothing that is human is alien to me,” are pressed on from both sides. The cosmopolitan ideal is dying a lonely death. The world is returning to its stupid tribes.
-- Stephen Marche, "This American Carnage," The Walrus

I wish it were more widely understood and accepted that it is the rich, not the poor, who benefit the most from taxes and the institutions of civil society that they fund.
-- crusty, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

In our culture also we have this idea that if he beats you, he loves you. It means that if you are in the family circle, when somebody loves you, he beats you, and if he beats you, it’s your fault. This is your problem, you should solve it yourself, without any help from our state.
-- Moscow women's rights activist Alena Popova, quoted in Jina Moore, "Russian Parliament Backs Plan To Decriminalize Domestic Violence," BuzzFeed News

I feel slimmer in the ocean. Compared to whales, I'm positively slender.
-- Helmut Monotreme, Alicublog, comments

There is no common ground with people who want to end you because you are not them.
-- @ChrisWarcraft, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

The ground from which to see the ground falling out from under us was falling out from under us.
-- Stephen Marche, "This American Carnage," The Walrus

Trump is an interesting proof of concept for me if nothing else. Not an original observation on my part, but I’ve been telling everyone I know for almost two years now that I don’t think any Republican actually disagrees with…anything Trump has done or said (except maybe the…3? 4? remaining principled Republicans-none of whom are currently in office anywhere). They just didn’t think they could get away with using the bullhorn. They winced for a little bit and now are realizing…hey, wait a minute, you CAN say the quiet parts out loud! Cool!

Register Muslims? Sure! Just…shhh be a little more discreet guys.

Send in the national guard to stomp on the blahs? Ooh I’m creaming my pants just thinking about it but no way could we ever…wait…the President just suggested it? Oh cool!

I am expecting it to happen, and for a depressing amount of people to shrug. I think by the end of this year we’ll look and wonder in awe how certain norms ever lasted as long as they did if they were this fragile. Hope I’m wrong. But…who’s gonna stop Trump if he wants to do this? Right wing Army officers? Ok.
-- vic rattlehead, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

[T]radition spearheaded by the early feminist blogosphere holds that femininity is not a form of stupidity. Call it Dworkin’s Curse: For decades, feminists struggled to overcome the perception that they were sexless, grim bra-burners, uninterested in pleasure or aesthetics. Now that feminists are finally willing to talk about makeup and Beyonce, we get stereotyped as fluffy.

Yet just as it has long been widely understood that Playboy readers could be interested in both modern short fiction and looking at women’s breasts, in the 2010s, only the most dour or dismissive of bros could conclude that serious political engagement is incompatible with an interest in rainbow highlighters. Everyone loves rainbow highlighters. They make you look like a beautiful pixie who fronts a glam-rock band. Also, white nationalism is a cancer on our democracy. Women are capable of holding both of these truths in their minds, and prioritizing them accordingly.
-- Sady Doyle, "The true story of how Teen Vogue got mad, got woke, and began terrifying men like Donald Trump," Quartz

I wonder what my mother thinks of how well our system of checks-and-balances works now. I wonder what my Trump-voting brother thinks. Or uncles. The National Parks are pretty much the only part of government they recognize as existing and still approve of. (Roads? Pretty sure that's intelligent design, right? They just turn up somehow.)
-- D Sidhe, Alicublog, comments

I wish the biggest problem with the new president* was that he doesn't know what he's talking about, and that what he is talking is insane ragtime from a campaign that, in his mind, never has ended. However, the biggest problem is that, while he's out talking the insane ragtime, truly retrograde policies are zooming into place from people with their own private agendas.

The more stringent "gag rule" on abortion that Trump signed into place with his executive order is pure Mike Pence. While Trump is blathering on about crowd size and Peyton Manning, Paul Ryan is as close as he's ever been to his golden dream of dismantling the social programs that, in his mind, stopped serving a useful purpose when they got him through college. The country's environmental programs are being handed over to people who would frack their grandmother's old gray head if they thought there was a buck to be made in doing it.
-- Charles P. Pierce, "I Haven't Been This Horrified Since JFK Told Us About the Cuban Missile Crisis," Esquire

boss makes a dollar, i make a dime, that's why i shitpost on company time.
-- Memes For Better Tomorrow, Facebook, comments

Now more than ever, effective prenatal planning is the most important part of your life. Have you done enough to screen your prospective parents? If you’ve already been born to modest means, it is hardly our fault you were lazy and screwed it all up.
-- bizarroMike, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

I stood on top of a smashed limousine, the limousine they would later burn. Ashes the size of oversized Doritos, and acrid smoke, lifted to the clouds. A raggedly bearded guy in his twenties, dressed as if he were used to being arrested, leaned back and howled, “Legalize Palestine!” to no one in particular. He had probably attended the rally that morning on Dupont Circle, at which pot activists had handed out 8,400 free joints. His friends laughed, and he mumbled to himself: “I guess that doesn’t make sense.” His confusion was understandable.
-- Stephen Marche, "This American Carnage," The Walrus

We have always been at war on apple pie.
-- Lee Rudolph, Alicublog, comments
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