realinterrobang (realinterrobang) wrote,

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Quotes, Thick and Fast Edition

Drowning in Smug is a terrible way to die.
-- LittlePig, Alicublog, comments

@RealDonaldTrump just set the world record for the guy rejected by more women in a single day in the history of humanity.
-- @jeremynewburger, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

It is a truth universally acknowledged that if a group of people are making a metric shitton of money from some manner of grift, then it becomes everyone else's responsibility to protect their income when it is threatened.
-- Smut Clyde, "'Bugger,' said Pooh, as he read that Australian Manuka honey had flooded the market, just when he'd felled every tree and turned the 100-Aker Wood into a Manuka plantation," Riddled

A joke from WW2, when the swastika was also called a "Nazi cross":

Q: How do you make a Nazi cross with five matches?
A: Stick four in his ear and light them with the fifth!
-- Steven F. Scharff, Facebook, comments

I have news for all the Anarchy Bros out there: Starbucks has insurance and doesn't really give a shit that you broke their window. The only thing property destruction accomplishes is to delegitimize protests in the right-wing media, to give the police an excuse to start swinging batons, and to allow the perpetrators to engage in some kind of exhibitionism – play-acting revolutionary or something.
-- Ed, "Notebooks Out," Gin and Tacos, comments

Childhood friends will testify under oath that I laugh hysterically in the face of impending death...because I have exposed several of my childhood friends to same
-- LittlePig, Alicublog, comments

Wal-Mart is the official Chinese import outlet in the United States a major department store chain that has become one of the most successful retailers in the world.
-- from RationalWiki's page on Wal-Mart

You try "alternative facts" in your life for one hour. Lemme know how it goes.
-- Keith Olbermann, "A Plea to Trump Fans: This Man is Dangerous," The Resistance #25

[D]amn, do I love to see smug chauvinists getting shown up by a gang of mothers and grandmothers and losing their minds over it. I love watching Twitter eggs cracking apart and Sean Spicer slurring platitudes as angry women all over the world out-style and outsmart and outnumber them. I’m not proud of it, just like I’m not proud of how much time I spent giggling gleefully and refreshing that video where neo-Nazi Richard Spencer got punched in the face by an anti-fascist on Inauguration Day. What I am proud of, though, is getting the chance to stand with millions of women and men all around the world and say: Enough now. Enough of this nonsense.
-- Laurie Penny, "The Triumph of the Won’t," Pacific Standard Magazine

my mom's childhood home was bombed off the planet by actual Nazis. I'm ok with punching Nazis.
-- @DMR09, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

For the entire Bush Administration, Mom & I had a routine where I'd sit down at the computer in the morning, pull up TPM or something, say "WHAAAAT?" and she'd ask "What has he done now?". Mom's gone now, and I have the feeling mornings are going to be less embarrassment, and more anger and disgust.
-- Pere Ubu, Alicublog, comments

It’s not just isolationism. It’s Donald Trump’s assumption that the world is basically a zero sum game, in which we win only to the extent that someone else loses.
-- Robert Reich, quoted in Elizabeth Preta, "Robert Reich shuts down CNN’s Jeffrey Lord’s unhinged rant about women’s clothes and NAFTA," Raw Story

Trump's policies keep changing, but he has a consistent worldview, which is that everything is zero sum. If you are weak, someone else is strong. That's the kind of worldview which uses patriotism to justify xenophobia: if you're not working against other countries, then you're working against ours.
-- from RationalWiki's page on Donald Trump

Hundreds of fragile Twitter fascists instantly launch into a frenzy of meaningless abuse, which is how I realize that this matters. The size and strength of this march and the sister marches around the world is humiliating to the alt-right, and humiliating to President Donald Trump too. As his press team scrambles for a counter-propaganda strategy, someone tries to bully the National Park Service out of tweeting pictures of the march. That’s not the reaction of any garden-variety narcissist. That’s how a toddler behaves when some kid shows up with more toy soldiers. Hundreds of thousands of them, to be precise.
-- Laurie Penny, "The Triumph of the Won’t," Pacific Standard Magazine

finding vulgarity in criticism of sexual assault more objectionable than sexual assault itself is a profound failure of moral reasoning
-- @AdamSerwer, Twitter

I live next to a volcano and still can't stop freaking out over the stuff I can't control, though I'm working on it. It's interesting, given that I am not particularly averse to the notion of dying, I just don't want to see it happen to lots of other people too, including my cat and my partner. I do agree with the wanting to go quickly. If the zombies come, I'm just checking out and the rest of you can split my share of the canned goods.
-- D Sidhe, Alicublog, comments

You know, I wish I didn't have ethics. Then I could get paid to tell science fiction stories on the witness stand, instead of working for a living.
-- YoungCCProf, Science-Based Medicine, comments

A man who could insist ... that it stopped raining the moment he started to give his inaugural address when you saw the rain falling on him, that is the kind of man who could convince himself that it would be just fine to start a nuclear war, because of course he would survive the retaliatory attack and so would his family, and so would...whatever people he thinks are his friends, or to use his word, his "fans." Of course they would all survive the retaliation because he's Donald Trump and bad things cannot happen to Donald Trump.
-- Keith Olbermann, "A Plea to Trump Fans: This Man is Dangerous," The Resistance #25

When he says ‘Make America Great Again’, we are thinking of the kind of America that used to intervene in governments in Latin America.
-- SBS Spanish-language executive producer Soraya Caicedo, quoted in Kenneth Lipp, "‘It’s rubbish’: Translators are struggling to interpret Trump’s unforgivably bad English," US Uncut

There aren’t many things sweeter and sillier than progressives who have unexpectedly won something, however small — really won something, I mean, rather than being delivered whatever deflated compromise they’ve agreed to settle for in place of real change.
-- Laurie Penny, "The Triumph of the Won’t," Pacific Standard Magazine

I've got a box of really good chocolates for the first reporter to stand up and say, "Jesus Christ, haven't you got anything more important to lie to us about?"
-- D Sidhe, Alicublog, comments

The Republicans -- being radical nihilists -- have engaged in the deregulation of everything, which now includes meaning itself.
-- Steve Simels, Facebook, comments

The problem with branding something a lie is that you have to be sure the speaker knew it was wrong. Otherwise it's just ignorance or a mistake. But in Trump's case, it's often clear that he knows he's lying. When he says the crowd at his inauguration was over a million, it's clear that he has no basis for this. He's just making up a number. When he says millions of illegal immigrants voted, he knows it's false because a legion of reporters have told him it's false. When he says the unemployment rate is 42 percent, it might be a mistake the first time. But the tenth time? It's a deliberate lie.
-- Kevin Drum, "What Does It Take to Finally Call a Lie a Lie? We Have an Answer.", Mother Jones

The MAIN reason sociopaths get away with being sociopaths is folk refusing to pathologize traits most prominently displayed by their peers.
-- @docrocktex26, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

Online, the yammering army of Trolls for Trump can’t cope with seeing us out in such numbers. Hundreds of panicked strangers on Twitter threaten me with gas chambers, gang rape, immediate deportation to Saudi Arabia, and all the usual make-me-a-sandwich grumbling that tells you you’ve upset the right people. There’s a special, raw edge of desperation to the harassment today — the blind rage of fragile masculinity watching itself, unthinkably, being outmatched by a bunch of girls. I’m told I ought to be shipped to Syria, and I remember that this sort of thing is why the Kurdish army deploys female soldiers to fight ISIS. When women fire at fascists, they go down harder, because it hits them where it hurts. It hurts their pride. That’s how you beat a bunch of angry little man-children on the only battleground that really matters: the battle of ideas. You make them look ridiculous. You make them feel ridiculous.
-- Laurie Penny, "The Triumph of the Won’t," Pacific Standard Magazine

Nobody ever said the CIA were the fastest bunnies in the rabbit hutch. Just because they missed some of the great events of world geopolitics (India detonates H-bomb, Soviet Union dissolves, Bay of Pigs a disaster) doesn't mean they don't care.
-- bill, Alicublog, comments

The other advantage of membership in the evo.psych. fraternity is that knowledge of human physiology and neurochemistry is not a prerequisite; indeed, it may be a disqualifier from the discipline, as such knowledge would impede one's freedom to work out what human behaviour should be like, from first principles, on the sublime refined plane of spherical cows falling in vacuum.
-- Smut Clyde, "Teste moaning," Riddled

[A]fter the death of Fidel Castro, Yiannopoulos promoted a conspiracy theory that Castro was the father of Canadian prime minster Justin Trudeau. Classy.
-- from RationalWiki's page on Milo Yiannopolous

This is a difficult issue because, by design, over the past three decades we have all had to work more for less in return and that makes it difficult to devote time to civic activity.
-- Ed, "Notebooks Out," Gin and Tacos, comments

Judging by its body-language when it saw me, I was not supposed to see that cat playing with a squirrel. (not pre-dinner playing. They were basically playing tag around a tree)
-- James Nicoll, Facebook

It's times like these that make me glad I live in a majority black neighborhood. ... More than once someone giving me grief has suddenly found one or more of my neighbors appear. Large neighbors, typically. "This guy botherin' you?" :)
-- LittlePig, Alicublog, comments

Is there anything more pathetic than white people who are so greedy they want sympathy for being in the ruling class?
-- @obbiecole, Twitter

I remember, actually, when I got my lab results after I had begun on this combination [therapy]. I was in the supermarket, and I ran into a, saw a friend of mine down at the other end of the store in the produce section, and...and, and I shouted at him across the store: "Jeff! Jeff! We're going to live! We're going to live!", you know...
-- AIDS Quilt founder Cleve Jones, interviewed in "Frontline: The Age of AIDS"

The hats are every shade of pink, as if the entire doll section of Toys “R” Us suddenly got woke and bashed out of their plastic cages to the delight of marble-eyed little girls everywhere. ... A nice girl from Michigan gives me a spare one that her mum made because she was angry and couldn’t stop knitting. It doesn’t suit me. It doesn’t suit anyone. But a million women together make it look good.
-- Laurie Penny, "The Triumph of the Won’t," Pacific Standard Magazine

As a member of the South Carolina legislature, [Rep. Mick] Mulvaney had voted in favor of a resolution that declared both Social Security and Medicare unconstitutional.
-- Charles P. Pierce, "This Is Our Most Dangerously Retrograde Government in 150 Years,"

He's a snowman built from special snowflakes, isn't he?
-- Brother Yam, Alicublog, comments, on Richard Spencer

The indigenous status of the Jewish people, however, appears to have little or no traction in the world community. Although the Jews have maintained a devotion to Jerusalem and a continuous presence in their historic homeland for more than three thousand years, rather than being recognised as indigenous to their land, they are branded occupiers or colonisers. And now such falsehoods have been granted the full weight of a Security Council resolution. No people group on the face of the earth can present stronger evidence for their connection to their ancestral homeland. Archaeology, genetic studies, and historical texts all confirm that Judea and Samaria are the Jewish homelands. And yet the world community has now declared Judea, Samaria and even East Jerusalem must be Judenrein.
-- Perry Trotter, "A 'Judenrein' Jerusalem? New Zealand’s Shame," Times of Israel blogs

The life of a knitter. "..... sewing this would've been easier. Shit."
-- @KatyTearle, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

Trump is not easy to translate, first of all, because, most of the time, when he speaks he seems not to know quite where he’s going. ... He seems to hang onto a word in the question, or to a word that pops into his mind, repeating it over and over again. He shapes his thought around it and, sometimes, succeeds in giving part of an answer — often the same answer: namely, that he won the election. Trump seems to go from point A (the question) to point B (himself, most of the time) with no real logic. It’s as if he had thematic clouds in his head that he would pick from with no need of a logical thread to link them.

That is not at all the way I am used to thinking, which, in itself, would not matter so much, as I very often have to translate things that are unfamiliar to me. But here’s the other problem with Trump: even once you’ve understood his point (or lack thereof), you must still express it in your own language. You realize, at that moment, that you have written something very unpleasant to read. Trump’s vocabulary is limited, his syntax is broken; he repeats the same phrases over and over, forcing the translator to follow suit. If she does not, she betrays the spirit of the original piece. The translator has to translate the content and the style.
-- Bérengère Viennot, interviewed in Robert Zaretsky, "Lost in Trumpslation: An Interview with Bérengère Viennot," LA Review of Books

A friend of mine once put it, "Fascism is already so absolutely awful that slippery slope arguments don't work. 'First, they came for Hitler...hey, I feel pretty good about that, wanna grab a beer?'"
-- Jason Williams, Facebook, comments

[E]ven my "hello world" program crashed.
-- swkellog, Alicublog, comments

Remember that Trump is a man who bragged about his dick size on the campaign trail. Remember that tens of millions of Americans applauded his meat-slapping approach to electoral politics. Well, when it came time to unzip, lay our respective phalanxes of angry people on the table and measure, the Women’s March turned out to be longer and girthier and a hell of a lot more satisfying than the crowd at his inauguration.
-- Laurie Penny, "The Triumph of the Won’t," Pacific Standard Magazine

Far-right falsely accuses Jews of "white genocide." Far-left falsely accuses Jews of "Palestinian genocide." Wonder why Jews get genocided?
-- @Yair_Rosenberg, Twitter

When it comes to trade, we're choosing Trudeau over Trump.
-- Scottish EU Parliament member David Martin, quoted in Janyce McGregor et al, "European Parliament's trade committee endorses Canada's free trade deal," The Toronto Star

It was, it was just indescribable, nearly. People laying on the dock, covered with canvases, obviously dead, or people piled on top of each other. Eh, there was one guy who had jumped from the bridge and landed on the pier, and, um, had sort of telescoped; the side of his pants were burst open, and, uh, it was just...just a horror show.
-- scuba diver Phil Newton, interviewed in "Disasters of the Century: Second Narrows Bridge," on rescuing people from Vancouver harbour after a bridge collapse as a teenager, in 1958

Self-reflection is hard when you're using carnival glass.
-- Jason Peebiscuit Aylen, Facebook
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