realinterrobang (realinterrobang) wrote,

Quotes, We'll Fall Right Through a Hundred Million Centuries Edition

When Mnuchin makes mistakes on complicated paperwork, he asks for forgiveness. When his customers made mistakes, he took their homes.
-- @SenWarren (Elizabeth Warren), Twitter

I've discovered an easy lifehack that makes most commonplace financial issues vanish: be a billionaire!
-- James Nicoll, Facebook

Stay safe, stay hydrated, have a good time, look out for your fellow sisters. And just remember we don’t take no ish from no man.
-- Spirit Airlines flight attendant, video in Julia Reinstein, "Flights Packed With Women’s March Participants Are Celebrating All The Way To DC," Buzzfeed

German here. The term "shitstorm" is commonly used, there is no even average good translation to it.

We did it, Anglosphere! We invented a compound word that Germans use because they don't have a good way to translate it! It's like we're living in Bizarro World.
-- jerryblack31 and thehonestyfish, Reddit, comments

No more coloured restrooms. No more white restrooms. Just plain old toilets. Go wherever you damn well please. [to Katherine Goble] I prefer you to be closer to your desk. Here at NASA, we all pee the same colour.
-- Al Harrison, Hidden Figures, dialogue

In 3 more days, “POTUS” will have a new meaning: “Putin Owns The United States.”
-- @TeaPainUSA, Twitter

Jesus, if you were any denser you would absorb all passing light.
-- Sean Gallagher, Facebook, comments

Why does anyone think that removing 10-25% of the money from an institution in the form of profit and moving the focus of the institution from satisfying the public to benefiting shareholders will improve things? It is basically impossible to make up those losses through the benefits of “competition” and “cutting red tape.” Do hardcore market enthusiasts think that profit comes at no cost and that the marketing and related costs are also totally free? If something is subsidized at a flat rate per student by the government it makes sense to run it with minimum overhead and profit is more expensive than even the most annoying district supervisor making $135,000 plus bennies.
-- Nobdy, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

My friends, if our schools don't have rooftop gatlings, then only outlaws will have gatlings on the roofs of our schools and then the bears win.
-- witlesschum, Alicublog, comments

After 30 years of being an entrepreneur, I've learned that business is about people. It's a series of relationships between you and your customers, your employees, your partners, and ultimately, the public. Business is personal. One of the more revealing moments I've experienced with Kevin was when a group of inner-city kids from Halifax came on Dragon's Den to pitch their not-for-profit business, Hope Blooms. Here was a group of vulnerable kids who took an abandoned lot in Halifax and turned it into a garden to grow herbs and vegetables to then turn into salad dressing. Some took on the role of tending the garden, others packaged and some sold the product at the local market.

These kids embody hard work, grit, and determination. They courageously entered the Den to ask for $10,000 for a 5 per cent royalty. In the end, Jim, David, Bruce and I gave them $10,000 each — no royalties. It was the right thing to do, and the best $10,000 I ever invested on the show. Kevin, not surprisingly, didn't give them anything except for an utter lack of consideration for what these kids were doing, and why it mattered. Looking back, it's plain to see that he didn't participate because there was nothing in it for Kevin. He only saw how he'd lose $10,000 instead of seeing how he might change a kid's life. Now, the self-professed billionaire, who couldn't part with $10,000, thinks he's the best person to lead our country. A person that's genuinely unconcerned with the lives of others wants a position that is solely about the lives of others.
-- Arlene Dickinson, "Arlene Dickinson on Kevin O'Leary's entry into Conservative leadership race," CBC

Ive never seen anything like the Devos hearing. I guess ppl getting the "we want ppl in DC who know nothing!" goal theyve wanted 4 so long.
-- @kurteichenwald, Twitter

This is my first memory. Driving with my father when we heard MLK was shot. My father pulled over and explained how important his work was, and then he cried. It is one of the only times I saw him cry. I was 3.
-- Jenny Basil, Facebook, comments

People from all over the world have free access to dank memetry. The future is strange.
-- dalf_rules, Reddit, comments

When they formed the Congressional Black Caucus back years ago, in the aftermath or in the beginning of the civil rights movement, the shape of that, I looked at that even then and I thought, 'How can you form a caucus that's established on race?' But they did and they got away with it because people didn't want it challenged. And now, the Congressional Black Caucus, I just openly say, they're the self-segregating caucus," the Republican congressman said. "I mean, the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr., as yesterday we celebrated his birthday, wasn't about segregation, it was about desegregation. But now they self-segregate and use the vehicle they created that's the self-segregating caucus in order to advance a leftist political agenda that is not at all reflective of Martin Luther King's memory.
-- Rep. Steve King (R-IA), quoted in Caitlin Macneal, "John Lewis Hasn't Contributed Anything Since Civil Rights Era," Talking Points Memo

I don't entirely trust people who hate cats.

People who hate cats are control freaks. I mean those who really hate cats, not those who say they don't like cats but it's really because they're allergic.
-- D Sidhe and jennofark, Alicublog, comments

"qualifications? Why the fuck would I need those? I have money. I'm qualified for anything."
-- @rakincaprica, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

Somehow, by having lower entry standards for private school teachers and paying them less than public school teachers, the private schools will get better teachers. I don’t know how that’s supposed to work, but that seems to be the thinking.
-- (((advocatethis))), Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments

You know if these dumbasses went to the hospital, and the surgeon said "Well, I'm actually a trust fund baby, and I've never worked a day in my life, but I've got some great ideas about how surgeries should be done," they'd pitch a fit. But when it comes to running the country, any rich white asshole will do.
-- Aimée Lichtenberg-Quirin, Facebook, comments

When President-elect Donald J. Trump offered Rick Perry the job of energy secretary five weeks ago, Mr. Perry gladly accepted, believing he was taking on a role as a global ambassador for the American oil and gas industry that he had long championed in his home state.

In the days after, Mr. Perry, the former Texas governor, discovered that he would be no such thing — that in fact, if confirmed by the Senate, he would become the steward of a vast national security complex he knew almost nothing about, caring for the most fearsome weapons on the planet, the United States’ nuclear arsenal.
-- Coral Davenport and David E. Sanger, "‘Learning Curve’ as Rick Perry Pursues a Job He Initially Misunderstood," New York Times

Trumpie has only got 1 ball!
Pencie has 2 but they are small.
Bannon has that in common,
While poor Priebus has no balls at all...
-- @Anton_P_Nym, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

[A]nyone who says "taxation is theft" is not worth my time. They might be good people (statistically unlikely) and they might even be reachable (statistically HUGELY unlikely) but I can do better for the world by arguing with multiple people with whom I DON'T have to start at Civilisation 101: Why The Warlords Aren't Currently Stealing Your Children (I doubt we'd even have time to get to 102: The Guillotine And How To Stop It Being A Thing), and I can do better for myself by doing, frankly, almost anything else, including watching an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine for the tenth time.
-- AngryWarthogBreath, Alicublog, comments

Today in class we talked about how in 30 years they'll remember Trump as a great statesman compared to president Duggar.
-- Gin and Tacos, Facebook, comments

They've smashed racism in the face, but they're doing it while you laugh.
-- Gene Wilder, on Blazing Saddles, quoted at IMDB

-- James Nicoll, Facebook

The Star learned, with Ford’s crack tape, that 21st century readers won’t believe serious allegations unless they can watch the video or see the document themselves — and maybe not even then. After reporters from the Star and Gawker wrote about viewing the recording, but didn’t have it, many Torontonians refused to believe it existed. Now, when anyone can watch it on YouTube, there are still doubters.
-- David Rider, "A Rob-Ford-beat reporter’s advice to the scribes covering Donald Trump," The Toronto Star

Information, critical thinking, awareness: these are keys that unlock prison doors. It's why they want to keep them out of our hands.
-- @ChuckWendig, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

If you ever want a giggle, ask a Hindi speaker what "train station" is in Hindi. Most of them won't know but will have a terrible feeling that there is a word and they should know it. If somebody does know, a huge argument will ensue about this word possibly being a regional thing and you can quietly finish all the snacks while everyone is distracted.
-- futurespice, Reddit, comments

[Removes eyes with rusty melon baller, sets fire to computer.]
-- BigHank53, Alicublog, comments

I actually had pinworms in high school. Having my sphincter chewed on by tiny worms is STILL better than having Trump determine Cabinet members and public policy. Jesus Christ.
-- Ryan Charles, Facebook, comments

I briefly considered giving the series the highly original title Treason: Conservative Treachery From World War II to the War on Terrorism, but my ace legal team (who just got done advising Fox News on a major lawsuit) tells me it might unfairly violate the rights and tender feelings of lying, sociopathic blond Republican bimbettes everywhere. So I'll refrain.
-- David Neiwert, "The Conserva-Traitors' Hall of Shame," Orcinus, 30 September 2013

[A]nti-racist response to alt-right anti-Semitism appears to be "dumb Jews should have known better" as opposed to solidarity
-- @moebius_strip, Twitter

That's how horse personalities were described to me, dumber giant cats.
-- 5trange, imgur, comments

Every country has the right to choose its own leaders, and America’s friends and neighbours need to accept the reality that Donald Trump is indeed president. But we do not have to pretend that we “share his values” or remain silent when he attacks a fellow NAFTA member like Mexico. We should have learned by now that hoping the bully will stay angry with someone else and therefore leave us alone is not just cowardly, it is short-sighted. Don’t believe for an instant there is any reward for leaving an apple on this teacher’s desk.
-- former New Democratic Party leader Bob Rae, "As Trump takes over, hold on to your hats," The Toronto Star

The part of [Jonah] Goldberg's essay that I find striking is how desultory it feels. Goldberg's shtick is mildly snarky cleverness passed off as intellectualism, but even he's smart* enough to realize that Trumpism doesn't lead to any happy destinations. He's been doing the pundit thing** for almost twenty years now, and it's probably too late to change course. So he's going to collect his checks and wait for one of the two possible outcomes of Trumpism:

1) Trumpism eventually collapses under the weight of fuckups, incoherency, and ego, taking Republican party with it. National Review rendered as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Goldberg left to repeat stories about former high life on NR cruises to whoever will sit next to him at the Waffle Hut.

2) Trumpism succeeds, ushering in era of alt-right rule. Quislings, accomodationists, and their families are promptly packed into boxcars for transport and re-education at Camp #88 in Death Valley. Shortage of diesel fuel means all occupants instead freeze to death outside of Colorado Springs.

There's your future, Jonah! Be proud of the hand you had in creating it!

*He did write a book about fascism. Even if we grant that he was wrong about everything in it, I'm sure that he managed to see that famous picture of Mussolini hanging from the lamp post. Those who make peaceful change impossible make violent change inevitable, etc.

**Badly, but he's earned more money than any of us, hasn't he?
-- BigHank53, Alicublog, comments

Portents: Trump W'House just took down climate change page.

And the Department of Labor’s report on Advancing LGBT Workplace Rights has been removed from their website.
-- John Konopak and Kris Andrews, Facebook, 20 January 2017

You can tell the bad nazis by their very subtle tell: they're nazis.
-- @jetta_rae, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

I do not condone violence and believe that conflicts should be resolved diplomatically. However, punching Nazis is a goddamned American tradition and medals should be awarded for doing so.
-- aiddon, Talking Points Memo, comments

Are we going to let Jews run this country?
-- Charles Lindbergh (yes, that Charles Lindbergh), speaking at a rally 29 May 1941, quoted at Orcinus

A is for Asshole
And under Trump, it would seem,
Your's is the one he'll let business ream.
B is for Bogus
This election, it's true,
Was as good as a degree conferred by Trump U.
C is for Corporate
Our new masters now
Will let us all have it; good, hard, and how!
D is for Dicked
Are we screwed? You're darn tootin'
Thanks to the morons and Trump's good friend Putin.
-- Derelict, Alicublog, comments

Trump is the first president in memory to state categorically that “protection will lead to great prosperity and strength.” But protecting industry from competition doesn’t put America first, so much as it puts some Americans ahead of other Americans: the consumers who will have to pay the inflated prices that result, the other industries whose sales will suffer accordingly, the workers they will not hire, and so on.
-- Andrew Coyne, "Protectionist Trump speech signals an America looking inward," National Post

There are good arguments for and against Nazi-punching, but "it makes you as bad as them" isn't one of them. Why? Because they're NAZIS.
-- @studentactivism, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym

Self-interest isn't what politics should be about, and it's not what drives good decisions. Politics isn't just about dollars and cents, it's about people. It's about shepherding all Canadians through good times and bad, and ensuring that the most vulnerable stay with the flock. I don't want a leader that's only in it for himself. I do not want a leader who will cut and run when it's in his best interest. I don't want a leader who views our country as nothing more than a balance sheet.
-- Arlene Dickinson, "Arlene Dickinson on Kevin O'Leary's entry into Conservative leadership race," CBC

Prime Minister Arlene Dickinson. Prime Minister Naheed Nenshi. Prime Minister Chris Hadfield. Let's try to get all of these in our lifetimes, huh?
-- Dwight Williams, Facebook, comments

RUSSIA: We have suborned your elections!
-- AngryWarthogBreath, Alicublog, comments

Welcome home. We've got a lot of work to do.
-- Gene Roddenberry, quoted by Nichelle Nichols, after she rescinded her resignation from Star Trek, video interview
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