Current location:	at my desk
Current mood:	tired
Current music:	no

Quotations, WTF, Constable Mooseface? Edition
When I died on the operating table at age 13 (due to an allergic reaction to the anaesthetic) it was the medical staff on hand who brought me back, not any miracle. Mind you, since they killed me in the first place, it was their responsibility.
-- Lilith, Pharyngula, comments

Real women breed. Period.
Which is why I had my tubes tied at 30.
‘Cuz I’m all about the fake.
-- Laura W, Balloon Juice, comments

Papier mache: when regular mache just isn’t papy enough
-- Rusty Shackleford, Sadly, No!, comments

400 million people are living under extreme drought conditions, and very dry land has increased worldwide in a short period of time: 15% of land was so classified in 1970, but it's now up to 30% in 2002.
-- PZ Myers, "Mario Molina: Energy and climate change: is there a solution?," Pharyngula

If generally neutral terms were used (Conservative, Liberal, Democrat, Republican) every discussion wouldn't be determined by the terms used to open it.
-- Roger Ebert, "The O'Reilly Procedure," Roger Ebert's Journal

[G. Gordon Liddy] claims that la Raza is a phrase in “illegal alien”, leading one to conclude that not only (as far as wingnuts are concerned) are all Hispanics by definition “illegals” (which is where they’ve been going all along) but that ONLY Spanish-speakers are capable of being “illegals”. The Right should just face up to the fact that they think ALL Hispanics are illegal immigrants, regardless of where they were born.
-- Pere Ubu, Sadly, No!, comments

It’s still her uterus, no matter how much time you spend poking it
-- Zifnab, Balloon Juice, comments

Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, are easier to train, usually come when called, don't ask for money, never drive your car, don't hang out with losers, don't drink or smoke, and don't worry about the latest fashions.
-- from "Pet Rules -- Memo to the Family Dog and Cat," Best of Craigslist

Far be it from me to imply hat Mr. Scheie is a sheep-botherer, but how can I suggest that he’s been seen creeping down to the pasture at dusk with a sack of oats and a scented candle without feeling like a kook?
-- Quaker in a Basement, Sadly, No!, comments

GM has always been good at generating the “gee whiz” factor with their concept cars. Pity than none of the technology ever becomes reality. The Volt, as far as I can tell, is GM’s pie-in-the-sky version of vaporware to get the critics off their backs. They’ll come out with 3 cars that cost millions to develop, mutter something about how it all was much more expensive than they thought, (pity that), and sorrowfully shake their heads that oops, it looks like they’ll have to sell the Volt at $80K plus in order to break even, and the US doesn’t really need something like that, do we? And go back to selling SUVs. Then gas will go up to $6/gallon and we’ll get the hoocodanode dance all over again. Honda and Toyota will have a nice little electric car available for sale and will snarf up even more of the US market. And GM will wring its hands and complain about the evil UAW all over again. Yawn.
-- grumpy realist, Balloon Juice, comments

I'd like to remind them that no amount of anguished praying saved children from diabetes until insulin was discovered by Frederick Banting, Charles Best, J. J. R. Macleod, and J. B. Collip.
-- Monado, Pharyngula, comments

they’re usually talking about someone with the rhetorical prowess and charisma of Jindal, who Churchill wouldn’t mustard-gas if he was on fire.
-- alec, Sadly, No!, comments, on the right blogosphere

He may be insane, but it least he is unintelligible.
-- Randy, Pharyngula, comments

If I own a drugstore, I cannot fire a pharmacist who refuses to fill a prescription for birth control for one of my customers. I can’t do it. I have to find some other pharmacist to fill that prescription, and I have to continue to pay the pharmacist who refuses to do his or her job. Think about that the next time you hear the whining from fundamentalist Christians about how they might be sued if they won’t do a flower arrangement for a same-sex marriage. They keep the job, but they want a federally protected right to refuse to do the job. What other group gets this kind of deference? Name one.
-- kay, Balloon Juice, comments

Science fiction itself somehow had an aura of eroticism about it. It wasn't sexually explicit, but it often seemed about to be.
-- Roger Ebert, "It's sweltering hot out," Roger Ebert's Journal

This must be read to be believed. It's like a train wreck involving a tanker truck full of mescaline and a copy of Atlas Shrugged.
-- Eric Jackson, Science-Based Medicine, comments

I need to come up with a business plan that fleeces rightwingers. They gotta be the silliest most gullible group of halfwits that ever lived.
-- Death By Mosquito Truck, Balloon Juice, comments [It exists, and it's called Amway. Problem is, it's rightwingers fleecing other rightwingers. -- ?!]

If you believe there are no atheists in foxholes, then you have to allow for the possibility, when the bullets start to fly and everybody dives into the dirt, that God's real name is "FUCK!!!"
-- Hank Fox, Pharyngula, comments

I operate on the general principle that a bug has made an unfortunate life choice if it has decided to come into my home, or, god forbid, colonize my body. Because it is going to be exterminated with extreme prejudice in the most environmentally neutral way possible, but exterminated nonetheless.
-- Jennifer, Sadly, No!, comments

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.
-- PurpleGirl, Balloon Juice, comments

I was horrified to learn recently that there were 1 billion starving children on Earth – and a big chunk of that horror was because that means there are more than 1 billion children on Earth.
-- Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist, Sadly, No!, comments

I recently got fired for getting sick, but [Mark Sanford] gets to keep his job when he's disappearing to go see the woman he's cheating on his wife with? Seriously?
-- Esme, Shakesville, comments

I use "Jesus!" as an exclamation simply because "Fuck!" isn't dirty enough.
-- alatham, Pharyngula, comments

I’ve long suspected [PETA is] a conservative ratfuck to make liberals look bad – although two things have me more or less convinced otherwise: I’ve met sincere vegans who were just as crazy, and conservative ratfucks aren’t that clever.
-- Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist, Sadly, No!, comments

And yes, biology or biochemistry has proved [many things] in the scientific sense (when we make predictions based on these ideas, our predictions turn out to be consistently correct, whereas that is not true of competing ideas), if not in the legal sense (convincing the average person that it is correct beyond a reasonable doubt), which is what Creationists want. It's not about scientific proof, it's about legal proof- they want us to prove it to them, not to prove it. But you see, in a court they would be rejected for jury duty because of their obvious biases- they already know what they want the outcome to be. So trying to prove it to them is stupid.
-- Basoriana, Science-Based Medicine, comments

See, I'm not allowed to make these mistakes. As the Official SpokesGay (TM), I am expected to be clear and comprehensible. Anything less would cause The Company to fire me. And don't ask about The Company - they operate in a shadow world of fashion and intrigue, that's all I can tell you.
-- JoshS, Official SpokesGay, Pharyngula, comments

i'm 26 and i've already had friends who got married because one had terminal cancer and the other had a good job with good insurance. it was such a bittersweet wedding. he died about a month later.
-- john b, Balloon Juice, comments

And BTW, why the flying mother of all airborne fucks is John McCain going on CNN and issuing foreign policy pronounciamentos? Didn't Johnny get the message that he fucking lost and should just sit down and shut up and let the President run things? For that matter, who keeps resetting the goddamn stopwatch on Palin's 15 minutes? Doesn't she have some Russians to be keeping an eye on or wolves to shoot or something?
-- Pere Ubu, Sadly, No!, comments

Um, I'm nearing my 55th birthday. What's an iPod? Seriously.

It's a Walkman with a really long tape.
-- littlejohn and tsg, Pharyngula, comments

as well as being a Walkman with a really long tape, an ipod is something you use to announce to the world that you've got more money than sense and more style than substance.
-- facehammer, Pharyngula, comments

As David Carter writes in his book “Stonewall,” at the end of the 1960s homosexual sex was still illegal in every state but Illinois. It was a crime punishable by castration in seven states.
-- Frank Rich, "40 Years Later, Still Second-Class Americans," New York Times [One wonders, but also doesn't want to ask, what they did to lesbians...assuming they accepted that lesbians existed, that is. --?!]

So, I followed the link and read the comments. Wow! Is there nothing that isn’t some sort of conspiracy to these people? It’s easy to imagine them fuming at a stoplight because the liberals and their allies the Illuminati and the Elders of Zion chose a treehugger color for “go,” the yellow of cowardice for “slow down,” and that commie red for “stop.”
-- Dennis-SGMM, Sadly, No!, comments

Ah well, no hypocrite like a social conservative.
-- Brachalon, Dispatches from the Culture Wars, comments

Dick Cheney earned his manly creds as a “hunter,” Bush had a “ranch,” McCain has a “ranch,” the Wasilla wingnut is all about being one with nature, and Gov. Sanford is, at this moment, allegedly hiking the Appalachian trail. And yet every single fucking one of them would vote to pave over the woods I hiked in this morning, or to dump coal slurry in the small pond I walked by, or to dump DDT on the wild blackberries I picked this morning.
-- John Cole, Balloon Juice, comments

The simple equation is this: Any time a multimillionaire is telling you the tax code should be "fairer," that's a cue that you're about to get something other than "fair" taxes.
-- Arguing With Signposts, "Flat tax idiocy," Arguing With Signposts

It's a very ugly and insidious film hiding behind a toy commercial drawing direct connections between two illiterate, buck-toothed, jive-talking, monkey-faced robots and black people, while demeaning women in a way that makes Maxim look like MS magazine.
-- catseatdogs, "Movie Review: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen," LiveJournal