Quotation Station, Special August J. Pollack Edition
Indeed, all such obnoxious evangelism sends one clear message, and it's not what the witness thinks it is. As soon as you knock on that door, pass out that tract, turn a casual conversation to matters of private faith, what you are really saying is, "Why don't you become a vexing fanatic like me?" This is certainly one case where, as Marshall McLuhan said, "The medium is the message." I don't care what you say about the virtues of the gospel, the glories of the redeemed life; the very fact that you are pitching this message that no one asked to hear is communicating something else: "I'm a nut, and you can be one, too!"
-- Bob Price, The Reason-Driven Life, spotted on Pharyngula
I read endless comments under photos like Jennifer Love Hewitt’s, the least hateful of which are: Go to the gym; there is no excuse. Go to the gym, my
ass (–the size of should always be
irrelevant to other people). Go to the gym? Go to college. Go tutor kids. Go work to make your family secure. Go call your grandmother. Go do the laundry, for God’s sake. I fly into a rage when it is revealed, again, that women’s highest and foremost priority is to make their bodies look a certain way. The degree of hate leveled right now at women who do not conform astonishes and saddens me.
-- Petra, Feministe, comments
Why do woman-haters think that vaginas are like Swiss Army knives?
It can whittle, open wine bottles, clean your teeth, magnify text, and file your nails in one sitting.
-- nerdalert, feministing, comments
I bet we could remake the tax system so that people couldn’t have dependent spouses anymore but had to claim their spouses as employees, and pay them a minimum wage.
-- Amanda Marcotte, Pandagon, comments
"It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods."
-- HL Mencken, spotted on Pharyngula
I had a student turn in a paper last week in which I saw the phrase "lack-toast and tolerant". It took a few seconds to parse out what that meant, and a few minutes in wonderment of what the world must look like to some people.
-- Carlie, Pharyngula, comments
The Mormon I work with once tried to bait me by asking what it was that atheists were celebrating if they celebrated Christmas. Being in a snarky mood, I replied, "The same thing you Christians do, silly. Mithra's birthday."
-- Brownian, OM, Pharyngula, comments
[A]n agnostic is an atheist caught in the headlamps of family matters, really
-- Greg Laden, “The Bible Thumping Grinch Who Pissed On Christmas”
But nothing will
ever convince me that there is any reason I should find cleaning satisfying on any level. And anyone who says otherwise is either obsessive compulsive or lying.
-- Av0gadro, Pandagon, comments
[I find things being clean
to be quite satisfying. Getting them that way, not so much. -- ?!][Creationists] generate slime quicker than hagfish.
-- mothra, Pharyngula, comments [who wins the “most vile figure of speech” award for today]
I would totally go to an Italian restaurant called "The Flying Spaghetti Monster."
-- Steve C, Pharyngula, comments
From one of the abstinence only manuals: "Men sexually are like microwaves and women sexually are like crockpots..."
Wait, what? Crockpots? What the hell does that even mean? Women like to do it on the kitchen counter? If you throw a cheap piece of meat in, it will come out tender six hours later? Foreplay involves a lot of Cream of Mushroom Soup? Of course, the idea that this is actually being taught in schools is just...disturbing.
-- Akeeyu Buttmansion, Feministe, comments
[On the "oxytocin" myth scare perpetated by abstinence-only "educators"...] That's to say nothing of the disasters that will ensue if she eats chocolate or masturbates! Or...eats chocolate right before masturbating...
Ah, the perfect evening...
-- EG, and Basoriana, Feministe, comments, on the overhyped dangers of premarital sex
The Republican pandering to the religious right is akin to having, as part of your ritual right before going to bed at night, brushing your teeth with a specific toothpaste, putting on a particular color of pajamas, walking down to the garage, siphoning exactly three and a half gallons of gasoline from your car, walking back upstairs, pouring it all over the floor of your bedroom, and then going to sleep by the soft light of the burning cigar you've left on the edge of your night table. This is a perfectly acceptable routine to have- it's a free country after all- but you should be forbidden from any sympathy when you wonder how your house could have possibly burned down.
-- August J. Pollak, “Huckstered,” Some Guy With a Website
I have to admit there's a part of me that really enjoys the prospect of a Hillary Clinton presidency if only for the sudden massive, dare I say psychotic passion right-wingers will suddenly take toward defending and enshrining civil liberties.
...
As I've said every now and then for the past year or so, the response to every right-wing moment of glee about the erosion of basic rights should be "yeah, it's going to be awesome when Hillary Clinton gets to do this, huh?" and then you watch their skin pale like one of those teeth whitening ads.
-- August J. Pollack, “I Just Don’t Get It,” Some Guy With a Website
Current Mood: 
amused, but migraineyCurrent Music: "Wee Wee Hours," Zen Guerrilla