The Real Interrobang -- You STILL Can't Do That On Slashdot|
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
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|Tuesday, June 2nd, 2015|
|Quotes, Chocolate Chip Cookie Violence Edition
Fear is not just the mind-killer; fear is the other-people-killer.
-- fuckwit, Balloon Juice, comments
Ah, the eighties. When was the exact moment you realized you were living in somebody else's hangover?
-- BigHank53, Alicublog, comments
Texas just clarified. They're not asking for a government handout. They're asking for foreign aid.
-- Skipper, Gin and Tacos, comments
I always thought Douglas Adams missed a great opportunity to have humans be utterly immune to shitty poetry because
we’ve made so damn much of it ourselves.
-- Binjabreel, We Hunted the Mammoth, comments
Land it like Sully.
-- Lynda McKinnon, Facebook, comments ( I want chocolate chip cookies. Where can I get pareve -- reliably dairy-free -- chocolate chip cookies?Collapse ) Current Mood: hungry
|Wednesday, May 27th, 2015|
|Quotes, Funny Tingly Feeling Edition
It’s rather sobering when you realize that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others.
-- ArchTeryx, Balloon Juice, comments
Normally, I don't care who sleeps with whom because it's none of my business. I'd have to make an exception for the sun, though. Our sun luring some strange star into the system to collide with... That can't be good for anybody.
-- Buddy McCue, Alicublog, comments
So I went to Israel and made friends there, and they told me all these phrases without telling me what they meant, and
they...the phrase they had me repeating to everyone was "So...do you live alone?"
-- from "Americans Learn Foreign Pickup Lines," YouTube [I can say that! -- ?!
Oh, don’t be silly. Everybody knows that there are no introverted women. We all gossip with our girlfriends all the time and travel to the bathroom in large packs. /s
-- Kootiepatra, We Hunted the Mammoth, comments
Being secretly multilingual is like having the ability to read minds. They don't realize you know what they're thinking.
-- VikingsAreNinjaPirates, imgur, comments( It"s like a funny, funny feelin...Collapse ) Current Mood: amused
|Monday, May 25th, 2015|
|Not an art car
A really novel shot of my favourite airport in the world. My dad has a similar picture of the Toronto skyline, taken from a DHC-8 100. Current Mood: awake
|Quotes, Asked the Girl What She Wanted to Be Edition
Bonus points to anyone who can ID the reference in the title -- this one is maybe not as cryptic as some of the others. For what it's worth, if you're ever wondering what they mean, just ask!
Australians don’t fear hell because they live in Australia.
-- Comrade Dread, Balloon Juice, comments
We shall overcome, and we will not be undersold!
-- A Good Question, Alicublog, comments
I had people shortly after 9/11 asking me “When are we attacking Iraq?”.
-- Major Kong, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments [Yeah, I was wondering that, too. I actually e-mailed a whole bunch of my friends and said I was counting the days. But I’m cynical, and I was watching CNN too. -- ?!
Canadians seem to see themselves as helpless bystanders, guests in a nation that belongs to people other than themselves, second-class citizens to a corrupt ruling dictator. Canadians don't understand their own laws, and watch everything as if from a distance, in meek ponderance of it all. There is no comparing of the failing of Canadians to any other nation, Canada is a new low in how far it's fallen relative to where it sat.
-- Dave, ipolitics.ca, comments
When I rock the mike, I mock the Reich.
-- Bill Ylitalo, Facebook, comments ( When I grow up...Collapse ) Current Mood: energetic
|Tuesday, May 19th, 2015|
|Quotes, The Sure Weight-Loss Spa Cure Edition
the solution to the downsides of globalization? Can you wean a huge chunk of the populace off Wal-Mart?
-- WereBear, Balloon Juice, comments
Once there was a boy who wanted to get his ear pierced. He went home and told his parents about how he was going to use his summer job money to get this cool red crocodile tattoo all around his neck so the croc could bite its tail over his Adam's apple and would always be visible above his shirt collar. OH. NO. YOUNG. MAN. OH. NO. So when he came home the next day with a pierced ear, his mother said to his father, "It'll close up and disappear any time he doesn't wear an earring," and then they watched sports. Moral: Stop being scared and start being scary.
-- TGuerrant, Alicublog, comments
Once I thought I was in error, but I was merely mistaken.
-- Wzrd1, Respectful Insolence, comments
I remember a story about a girl in a red cloak whose grandmother was eaten by a Republican. That totally happened.
-- Hogan, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments
They call me Dr. Metaphor for a reason. Oddly there is no super-hero or villain with that name. And here I though all the good names were taken.
-- Mark Crislip, “Lyme Testimony,” Science-Based Medicine ( Another day, another resolution...Collapse ) Current Mood: exhausted
|Friday, May 15th, 2015|
|Quotes, Belated Title Edition
The story here isn’t the damage to property, it’s the damage to people’s confidence in the law and the justice system.
-- JR in WV, Balloon Juice, comments, on Baltimore
“Preaching to the choir” is a perfectly legitimate thing to do, and is in large part why there’s a choir in the first place. Getting them fired up and excited gets other people fired up and excited and draws people into your church.
-- FMGuru, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments
This budget is about redefining the purpose of government and undoing, brick-by-brick, in the slowest of motion, but inexorably, the institutions and programs built over decades following the Second World War by governments of quite different stripes.
-- former Clerk of the Privy Council Alex Himmelfarb, quoted in Maude Barlow, "Broken Covenant: How Stephen Harper Set Out to Silence Dissent and Curtail Democratic Participation in Canada," on the 2011 budget
If we could turn insufferable jerks into renewable energy we could have peace in the Middle East this time next year.
-- SmogMonster, Love, Joy, Feminism, comments
Nazis live in a bizarre world of cognitive dissonance; both denying and celebrating the Holocaust.
-- Alan Robertshaw, We Hunted the Mammoth, comments( I"m tired and I don"t wanna wash dishes...Collapse ) Current Mood: tired
|Wednesday, May 13th, 2015|
|There Are Already Experts on the Case, Thank You
I had an interaction
last night, while dragging my carcass all over Hell's Half-Acre to try to find an MP3 player with a non-broken screen (conclusion: order the bloody thing online).
Scruffy-looking guy with 70s hair and a plaid shirt walks up to me and announces, "You should wear a wedge in your shoe. It would help you walk." I said, "I do wear a quarter-inch lift, sir." (I do, but you can't see it because it's basically just a hard insole that fits inside my right shoe, and is *much* cheaper and stealthier -- important if you're vain like me -- than having a full build-up done, which costs $$, and is not covered by OHIP. Also, as far as I know, there's a grand total of ONE place you can have this done here in town, and I'm not sure they'll work on shoes they don't also sell...and they sell ugly fuggin shoes.)
He says, "Are you sure that's enough? I mean, you might need more. You don't want to unbalance your back..." (The reason I only wear a quarter-inch is that my doctor thought that any more might cause problems with my hips and spine.) "You look like you're labouring."
I said, "Well, I have cerebral palsy and fibromyalgia, it's the end of the day and I'm really tired..."
He interrupts with, "Have you tried any treatments for that? You should look into orthomolecular medicine..."*
Me: "Oh, please
..." *walks away*
* Yes, this is *precisely* as quacktastic as it sounds, and is basically a way of generating expensive pee. At least when Israelis give you unsolicited advice, they don't come off as totally mansplainy about it. Current Mood: annoyed
|Friday, May 8th, 2015|
|Quotes, Postponing Cleaning Edition
[H]ow many of their seed have Canadians intentionally birthed on U.S. soil, to best prepare a third column to strike from within, come the day we march north to claim the water and mineral rights of our northern provinces?
-- Tree With Water, Balloon Juice, comments
I want a car-shaped tree freshener.
-- Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard, Alicublog, comments
When I was a small child, my family lived in Hawaii in the late 80’s early 90’s. I saw muumuus everywhere! Everyone wore them, usually over a bikini paired with flip flops, because in Hawaii you are always only either at the beach, or on the way to the beach.
-- fromafar2013, We Hunted the Mammoth, comments
Female voice: Should I ignore you?
-- overheard at work
To paraphrase Joseph Heller, Woody Allen, and Kurt Cocaine, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean someone shouldn't finally tell you to shut your mouth.
-- Countme-In, Obsidian Wings, comments ( But I need to eat first...Collapse ) Current Mood: rushed
|Thursday, May 7th, 2015|
|Wednesday, May 6th, 2015|
|Quotes, Socialists Again? Edition
I am so confused. I am not mentally equipped to deal with an orange Alberta.
-- Michael Reed, Facebook, comments
Ants! ANTS!!!! They’re everywhere. Or at least it feels that way. Big black ants. Tiny black ants. I opened my dishwasher and there were a bunch of them crawling around in there. I’m running it now just to piss them off.
-- Germy Shoemangler, Balloon Juice, comments
You know, shit like conservative opposition to walkable construction is one of those reasons why we need to stop calling them "conservatives" and dub them what they are - the Asshole Party. There's no element of conservative thought that requires one to embrace sprawl. In fact, I'd argue there are as many reasons to oppose it from the right as the left. After all, aren't these the guys who are always rambling on about the breakdown of the community and civic virtue? Don't you think communities would be strengthened if we focused on local development and gave people an opportunity to meet their neighbors face-to-face? There - conservative argument for sensible community design.
-- Andrew Johnston, Alicublog, comments
Nature hates us, it's a terrible place.
-- WLU, Science-Based Medicine, comments( I have no idea what this means...Collapse ) Current Mood: blah
|Tuesday, May 5th, 2015|
|Monday, May 4th, 2015|
|Quotes, Populist Music Edition
One could argue that working class America has been the victim of looting.
-- Patrick, Balloon Juice, comments
[H]e reveals himself to be what St. Augustine (I believe) called a "dumb ass chump, a first rate sucker, and a useful idiot as long as you don't leave him unsupervised with a sharp object, a pen and paper or a half assed religious education".
-- Helmut Monotreme, Alicublog, comments
I thought I heard that lonesome whistle – it’s the crazy train making an unscheduled stop.
-- Dangerous Bacon, Respectful Insolence, comments
If you think homosexuality is a choice, then for you it is, and that would mean you're bisexual. Welcome to the community.
-- Dan Kaufman, Times of Israel, comments
Funny how people only pretend to care about civil rights if it means that they personally don't have to take responsibility for anything.
-- EBMOD, Science-Based Medicine, comments ( So much great music happened between 1927 and 1940...Collapse ) Current Mood: happy
|Sunday, May 3rd, 2015|
|Getting better every day
Job update: So on Day 2 of my job, I had my first meeting with the team, and found an ally in a woman whose job title is, alas, totally opaque to me. I'm not sure what she does, but she made some phone calls and got me some equipment, so as of 3:30 on Friday, I had
- a proper cubicle
- a phone with an extension (if no voicemail)
- a laptop that works
- two full-sized monitors
- an ergonomic assessment of my workstation, and a footrest on order
I have talents and skills they yet don't know about (and I want to keep it that way -- being underestimated is an excellent political tool, and I live on the Scotty Effect a lot of the time), and an excellent outside brain trust on call if things get really tough.
I've gotten some really good feedback so far. The project head said "If [?!] can deliver all these documents in three months, we will have made a very wise investment indeed," and the IT head said, "I'm beginning to see why you were so highly recommended." Okay then. Current Mood: upright
|Thursday, April 30th, 2015|
|Quotes, I'm Such a Dirty Dirty Rock Star Edition
Oh. Look. Humanity. A mixed bag.
-- scav, Balloon Juice, comments
How strange and intimate are the precincts of the internet.
-- Aimai, Alicublog, comments
Who would not rather be a rising ape than a falling angel?
-- Terry Pratchett, quoted at Raw Story
A Jew is someone who believes in one God or fewer.
-- Paul Gross, Facebook, comments
I know one thing for certain. If I had been born a black boy child in America in 1951, instead of a white girl child, I'd be dead now.
-- sophia, New York Times, comments( New job is much less broken now...Collapse ) Current Mood: tired
|Tuesday, April 28th, 2015|
Well, working at LIC has been...an adventure so far. Yeah. An adventure.
Now let's hope I can get an actual place to sit so I don't have to try to do work while other people's meetings are going on in the same room, a monitor so I don't have to do all my work on a tiny laptop screen (I've been working double-headed for the last almost decade, so this is difficult to deal with, plus, I uh don't see so well and my reading glasses broke a while back), and an actual phone so I can find people when I need them, a laptop that works, interviews with SMEs, and get out from under the Surfeit of Steves (three and counting).
Twenty years from now, this is going to be the source of some great
"You guys will never believe this
..." (aka "No shit, there I was...") stories. Current Mood: tired
|Sunday, April 26th, 2015|
I start my new job tomorrow. Wish me luck; I'm going to be in deepest, darkest Squaresville. Current Mood: nervous
|Thursday, April 23rd, 2015|
|Another Hour of Riveting TV
This one is basically Capts. Chesley Sullenberger and Jeffrey Skiles' account of American Airlines 1543, the so-called "Miracle on the Hudson": Brace for Impact
I didn't know that Sully had flown gliders. The captain of the famous "Gimli Glider" flight also flew gliders and was able to make a perfect unpowered landing under extreme circumstances in a large aircraft. I wonder if more pilots should fly gliders as well as powered aircraft... Current Mood: cold
|Quotes, Again Already Edition
We are not meant to walk the whole length of any road alone.
-- WereBear, Balloon Juice, comments
I've been conditioned by reality to think "deform" when I read "reform."
-- montag2, Alicublog, comments
Some say I’m old as dirt. I’m not, but the patent on dirt was still valid when I was born.
-- doug, Respectful Insolence, comments
I love that in the “Rocky Horror Picture Show,” when Janet says, “If only we hadn’t made this journey,” Israelis yell “dayenu
!” Either she’s about to sing “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me” or it’s almost time for “Adir Hu”.
-- Benji Lovitt, "67 more things I love about Israel," Times of Israel Blogs [I want to start doing this. -- ?!
We're out of time. We're out of airspeed. We're out of ideas. This is it.
-- Capt. Chesley B. Sullenberger III, from "Brace for Impact: The Chesley B. Sullenberger Story"( Apparently I need to get off the Internet today.Collapse ) Current Mood: awake
|Wednesday, April 22nd, 2015|
$Big_Local_Insurance_Co has extended an offer and I have accepted. The good news is, it's local and looks to be interesting and challenging, and the money is good. The bad news is, it's only a 3-month contract with no benefits, except for getting to use the employee cafeteria and the gym if I want it (I already have a gym membership, so no).
On the other hand, I might have the opportunity to sell them on a long-term position if I can pull off the project, and I might also have the opportunity to transition into another role at the same company, since El Queso Mas Grande's wife is an HR person there, and we've talked about trying to get me into a software QA position.
I'll take it, though.
Also, part of this position will be travelling to Montreal frequently to sit with their subcontractor. I like Montreal, even though I haven't been there in damn near 20 years (I haz an old). Current Mood: happy but a bit apprehensive
(They spontaneously generate out of the corpse of the past.)
I've been journalling here since 2004
. That's 11 years, as I reckon it. Current Mood: surprised