The Real Interrobang -- You STILL Can't Do That On Slashdot|
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|Sunday, July 24th, 2016|
|Fuck 2016, in particular, take 2
Just found out tonight that my mom's cousin Dave has been diagnosed with pancratic cancer with liver mets. They're saying he's got 1.5-2 years, but my mom is doubtful. I don't know the guy at all, but I do know his younger brother, who also happens to be prone to severe depression, suicidality, and dropping off the map for months at a time. Current Mood: angry
|Tuesday, July 19th, 2016|
|Quotes, I Got Sandals, You Got Sandals, All G-d's Chillun Got Sandals, Hallelujah Lordy Edition
I've been told that pets can't go to heaven, but I think what they meant was that pets can't go to hell, because they would take over within three weeks and soon have the entire place reorganized for their comfort and convenience.
, Minion of the Universe, comments
Boris Johnson, Brexit leader, is now on Pornhub under the title of: ‘Dumb British blond fucks 15 million people at once.’
-- Andre Lieven, Facebook, complete text post
Opinions are like assholes: never let a spa attendant bleach yours.
... Wait, no, it's "neither one should be presented during holiday dinner with relatives." Sorry.Now
you tell me.
-- mds and BigHank53, Alicublog, comments
Is there a word for the sense of nausea induced by experiencing too much history, too fast? (Because this past month has been ...)
-- @cstross and @vruba, Twitter
Norovirus, for those who are unfamiliar with it, is a massively contagious and unpleasant but usually non-life-threatening ailment that turns cruise ships into giant vomit-filled shit canoes.
If Uday and Qusay Trump appear on stage tonight and open their mouths to sing their horrid racist father’s praises but instead emit twin streams of projectile vomit while simultaneously shitting their pants, I will reconsider my lifelong atheism.
-- Betty Cracker, Balloon Juice, comments( Among other things...Collapse ) Current Mood: sleepy
|Sunday, July 17th, 2016|
|Fuck 2016, in particular
So last night I found out that a friend of dglenn
has metastatic and possibly terminal cancer, and is in a very bad state. (Better look at dglenn's page for more about that.) This is so
's friend died this morning at 5:30AM, while Glenn was en route to try to see her. Current Mood: sad
|Friday, July 15th, 2016|
|Quotes, Balagan Gadol, Baasa Edition
As a Canadian I reserve the right to veer wildly between US and UK spellings
-- Fiona Moore, Facebook, comments
People who commit such ugly crimes are the corrupt of the earth, and follow in the footsteps of Satan… and are cursed in this life and in the hereafter.
-- Egyptian mullah Shawki Allam, quoted in "10 children among 84 dead in Nice terror attack; France declares national mourning," Times of Israel
[Muslims] must accept that they are in a culturally Christian country and they can't have the same rank as those from a Catholic background
-- MP Marion-Maréchal Le Pen, quoted in Don Murray, "François Hollande takes heat for anti-terrorist strategy after Nice attack," CBC News
Cosmopolitanism is not a tribal trait; it is a virtue, as much as courage or honesty or compassion. Almost without exception, the periods of human civilization that we admire as we look back have been cosmopolitan in practice; even those, like the Bronze Age, that we imagine as monolithic and traditional turn out to be shaped by trade and exchange and multiple identity.
-- Adam Gopnik, "Being Honest About Trump," The New Yorker
A fascist is a fascist is a fascist. Who cares if they’re that way because they actually believe the Protocols of the Elders of Zion gobbledegook, or if they’re that way because it’s a good career move.
-- Chris, Balloon Juice, comments( Lo sababa, lo kal...Collapse ) Current Mood: annoyed
|State of the World, et al
2016 needs to go back to the factory for repairs; it's critically malfunctioning. Current Mood: angry
|Tuesday, July 12th, 2016|
|Quotes, Job Interview and Life Failure Edition
Author's Note: The job interview I had yesterday went really well. I feel like I'm about THIS CLOSE to getting a new job of some sort.
Tolerance is never sufficient: humanity must learn to love our differences.
-- Justin Trudeau, from his inscription in the Auschwitz-Birkenau Book of Remembrance, from a photo in the Toronto Star
[I]t's hard not to love the King James Bible. By finally nailing English down through a single widely-distributed work, it means that we can still understand Shakespeare from four centuries away.
-- BigHank53, Alicublog, comments
I don’t want cops dead. I don’t want black people dead. I just want the fucking violence to stop.
-- PaulWartenberg2016, Balloon Juice, comments
Never read the bottom half of the internet.
-- Melissa Rodriguez, Facebook, comments( Life loading, please wait........Collapse ) Current Mood: high
|Monday, July 11th, 2016|
|A Love Affair Between English and the Ass
If you want to insult a rude or abrasive person, you call them an asshole, an asshat, an assclown, or an asswipe. If you want to threaten someone, you can tell them you'll kick their ass, kill their ass, break their ass, whip their ass, put their ass in a sling, give them an ass-whooping, open a can of whoop-ass on them, or put a foot in their ass. You might also tell them, "Your ass is grass," but if you do that, you might wind up in a pound-me-in-the-ass-prison. A confused or stupid person doesn't know their ass from a hole in the ground, or can't find their ass with both hands and a flashlight, or doesn't know their ass from their elbow, and might be a dumbass. An obsequious person is a kiss-ass, a suck-ass, an ass-licker, or an ass-kisser. If you take a tumble, you might go ass over teakettle, ass over tin cups, or ass over tit. You might say a person who's chastising you is tearing you a new asshole, giving you an ass-reaming, or chewing on your ass. If something's completely wrong, it's ass-backwards, or maybe assed up. If you need to hurry, you need to get your ass in gear, but if you're having trouble, your ass is dragging. If you are hurrying, you are moving like your hair's on fire and your ass is catching. Someone with a grudge has a hair across their ass, or a bug up their ass. An uptight person has a stick up their ass. If you want to tell someone off, you can say "Kiss my ass!", "Blow it out your ass!", or "Shove it up your ass!" If you're shielding yourself from risk, you're covering your ass, but if the opposite is true, your ass is exposed, or your ass is on the line. If someone tells you something that's blatantly false, you can just say, "My ass!" If something is really bad, you might say it looks, smells, or tastes like ass. You might call either toilet paper or a string thong bikini bottom "ass floss," whereas you can call a toilet seat an "ass gasket." An annoying person is a pain in the ass, giving you a pain in the ass, or an assache. A derrogatory slang term for a gay man is an ass bandit, although he's not likely to hand you your ass on a platter; that's the chastizer from up above. A female hooker is said to be peddling her ass, and if you're looking for that kind of entertainment, you might want to get some ass or get a piece of ass. If you're naked, you might be bare-ass, bollicky bare-ass, or have your ass hanging out. And if you're lost -- or even just finally at the ass end of this post -- you might be in the ass end of nowhere. Current Mood: amused
|Friday, July 8th, 2016|
|Canada Post: Still Worth Saving, and T'row Da Harper Bums Out!
Stephen Harper installed the pro-privatisation upper management that now controls Canada Post, including the ironically-named Deepak Chopra, so all the labour trouble and refusal of wage parity, et cetera, is on him. Let me tell you why we need a Crown Corporation postal service, folks -- carrier of last resort. That means because we live in a giant country with a tiny population, with far-flung small population outposts out in the middle of nowhere in some places, there are places in this country where FedEx and UPS and DHL and Purolator et all do not deliver
. They actually subcontract delivery out to Canada Post.
So, if you're someone who lives on a reservation in Northern Ontario, the only way you get your, for example, Amazon order (which may be the only way you can get certain items, incidentally -- Amazon's shitty business practices are another discussion right now), or the clothes you ordered from Pennington's, or whatever, is for Canada Post to bring it to you. A privatised Canada Post would almost certainly (eventually) stop delivery to remote places, small towns (not unlike what Greyhound did to rural southwestern Ontario after it talked the provincial government out of operating a publicly-funded competing intercity bus service), bad neighbourhoods, and anywhere else it feels isn't "cost-effective." Maybe not right away, but eventually, and certainly.
A privatised Canada Post would also send all of the profits it might make (and make no mistake, Canada Post does make profits -- according to Canada Post's own materials, "before tax of $63 million for the Canada Post segment in 2015. Since 2011, Parcels revenue has grown by $429 million," and "a $44-million profit before tax for the Canada Post segment in the first quarter of 2016.") would devolve to its putative shareholders et al, instead of going into government revenues.
But even aside from the economic issues, just losing Canada Post to the rapacious-capitalism sector would be a disaster for our country. The more links we have between our far-flung places, the better, in terms of making all Canadians feel like they're actually Canadians and that the rest of the country cares about what happens to them. (Granted, we do have a lot of work to do in this area, but taking away their mail/parcel service doesn't make the situation better.) Do we really want to cede yet another thread in our social fabric to the profit-before-people mindset? I don't, and I hope you're with me. Current Mood: annoyed
|Thursday, July 7th, 2016|
|Wednesday, July 6th, 2016|
|Quotes, Fleur du Sweat Edition
what internet do you think you're using?
-- billcinsd, Alicublog, comments
It’s taken our society a hell of a long time to get to the point in rape cases (for example) where the first question is no longer “What was she wearing?” It will take us a hell of a long time to get to the point where unprovoked police attacks on citizens don’t immediately raise cries of “But the victim was thug! You should be able to tell just by looking at him!”
-- gratuitous, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments
[T]he definitive moment of the “new Toronto” took place, somewhat inevitably, in New York. On the TV variety show Saturday Night Live in May, Toronto’s hip-hop icon Drake played a gameshow contestant named Jared – a cheerful goof with dreadlocks and a red check shirt with a slight Caribbean lilt. The skit, called Black Jeopardy, was a take on the long-running game show Jeopardy, using a series of African American cliches: uncles who wear long suits to church, the cost of hair weaves, the popularity of Tyler Perry movies, and so on.
In this matrix of stereotype, however, Jared didn’t quite fit. To the answer: “This comedian was crazy in the 80s with his Raw and Delirious routines,” (clearly indicating the question: “Who is Eddie Murphy?”) Jared instead asked, to the perplexity of all: “Who is Rick Moranis?” When they also didn’t know hockey legend Jaromir Jagr, Jared was stunned: “The man won the Art Ross trophy four years in a row, fam.”
Jared is black, but not a kind of black that the host or the other contestants recognised. “I’m from Toronto,” he explained. “Wait, you’re a black Canadian?” the host asked. “Obviously, dog.” The miscomprehension built from there to a confrontation in which Jared angrily demanded: “Why do I have to be your definition of black?”
-- Stephen Marche, "Welcome to the new Toronto: the most fascinatingly boring city in the world," The Guardian h/t anton_p_nym
Farage steps down to spend more time with his family and friends. Our thoughts are with them at this difficult time.
-- @bendoscopy, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym
I read the work of college undergraduates for a living and this is the actual dumbest argument I've ever read.
-- Ed, "Jim Ruth Gets the FJM Treatment," Gin and Tacos( Saaaaaalt!Collapse )
|Polyester is the Fabric of the Beast
Dear clothing manufacturers/sellers/designers:
When the cotton dresses fly off the racks and the polyester ones hang there for months, shouldn't that tell you something? Like, maybe that POLYESTER ISN'T BREATHABLE AND NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WANTS TO WEAR IT IN THE SUMMER IN, WELL, ANYPLACE IN NORTH AMERICA BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES MARINATING TO DEATH IN THEIR OWN TRAPPED SWEAT!!!! (Especially not us plus-sized gals.)
?! Current Mood: hot
|Sunday, July 3rd, 2016|
|Quotes, 2016, You Fucking Bastard Edition
Interminable highways disappeared into a blue horizon ringing tall mountains embedded in skies of shifting colors. There were cascading rivers and peaceful brooks, green valleys and yellow hills, violent storms and dramatic sunsets. Never before had I been so close to nature. From the hills of San Francisco we gazed upon small towns floating in the fog as in a dream. In the Rocky Mountains the clouds seemed to wear a crown of snow, to touch it you would have to climb to God’s throne. Enchanting mirages, they are so disconcerting you cannot tell which is close and which is far, which is real and which is not. You have a sense of being present at a re-creation of the world.
-- Elie Weisel, on his first trip to the United States (1957), from All Rivers Run to the Sea
, quoted in Menachem Butler, "Elie Weisel Visits Disneyland," Tablet Magazine
When Justice Thurgood Marshall was on the Supreme Court deliberating Brown V. Board of Education, no other justice had ever lived in the segregated South. None other had ever represented people who were reviled. No of the others had gone through what he had gone through. And that context mattered.
-- Carrie Charles Stone, Facebook, comments
Across Canada, ordinary citizens, distressed by news reports of drowning children and the shunning of desperate migrants, are intervening in one of the world’s most pressing problems. Their country allows them a rare power and responsibility: They can band together in small groups and personally resettle — essentially adopt — a refugee family. In Toronto alone, hockey moms, dog-walking friends, book club members, poker buddies and lawyers have formed circles to take in Syrian families. The Canadian government says sponsors officially number in the thousands, but the groups have many more extended members.
-- Jodi Kantor and Catrin Einhorn, "Refugees Encounter a Foreign Word: Welcome," New York Times
Let me tell you something. Stabbing pregnant women in the stomach is not “resistance.” Shooting people at a cafe is not “resistance.” Driving your car into pedestrians is not “resistance.” Bombing a bus is not “resistance.” Breaking into a woman’s home and murdering her in front of her children is not “resistance.” And stabbing a little girl to death in the one place where she was supposed to be safe is certainly not “resistance.” Terrorism is not resistance. Terrorism is an unjustifiable crime.
-- Nadiya Al-Noor, "Palestinian terrorism and Muslim hypocrisy: An open letter from a Muslim woman," Times of Israel blogs
I feel obliged to say that the emotional universes we inhabit are so distinct, and in deepest ways opposed, that nothing fruitful or sincere could ever emerge from association between us. ... It is not out of any attempt to be rude that I say this but because of all that I value in human experience and human achievement.
-- Bertrand Russell, letter to Sir Oswald Mosley, 22 January 1962, quoted by @richardhamblyn, Twitter( But Happy Canada Day, I suppose!Collapse ) Current Mood: sick
|Wednesday, June 29th, 2016|
So, in the last week I've had an impromptu interview with a tech firm here in Whitebreadville (results uncertain but may involve a job coming open in 6 weeks or so), found out that there's another job come open at a place where I apparently was the #2 by a noselength-behind candidate shortly after VLITC laid me off, got contacted out of the blue by a TW who remembered me from an interview I went to at a company in Waterloo around the same time, saying she has resigned from the company and wants to know if I want to put my resume in (I think in her case it's burnout), and gotten a call from the Green Bank asking if I want to come to Mississauga next week for an interview. Dang.
I love it when things come to me... Current Mood: tired
|Quotes, Rule What Now? Edition
At what point is it incumbent on Canada to invade England to restore stability and order?
-- @Aaron Wherry, Twitter
I often wish our betters were... I don't know, better
-- Buddy McCue, Alicublog, comments
The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the talmid; now I am the rebbe.
-- Ashley Blaker, Facebook, comments
[A]s the diet of rich people improves, they have become less fatty. Give me a pulled prole sandwich any day.
-- Tom, Gin and Tacos, comments
I am deathly afraid of needles so I got laughing gas before getting put out when getting my wisdom teeth removed. My Indian dentist was testing how out of it I was to see if it was okay to put the needle in me and asked, "How high are you?" really meaning, "How tall are you?". I'm a stoner so my natural response was "I'M HIGH AS FUCK DUDE!". Gave him a little laugh that day.
-- Reddit user prebreeze, from David Karrel, "26 Of The Most Embarrassing Things People Have Said Under Anesthesia. Is This Real Life?", Pref( A much less scary cut!Collapse ) Current Mood: tired
|Tuesday, June 28th, 2016|
|Monday, June 27th, 2016|
|Health nerdiness, because I am a nerd
I have my first-ever neurologist's appointment today, and I'm oddly excited. I don't know what she'll be able to tell me or do for me, if anything, but I've got a list of questions, and I'm eager to see. If nothing else, seeing her will eliminate one bureaucratic hoop standing between me and an OHIP-paid visit to the specialist adult CP clinic in NYC. Current Mood: excited
|Sunday, June 26th, 2016|
|Random Current Events Thoughts
1. The more I look at Boris Johnson (G-d help me), the uglier he gets. I'd never quite noticed before that he has tiny little piggy eyes that are set entirely too close together. Also, he needs to either grow his hair out properly long, or cut his bangs (fringe) so he doesn't look so much like one of those pencils you could get back in the 80s that you could spin and the hair on top would floof out like mad.
2. I may have to join Twitter, because the stuff going on over there of late is just way too much fun. *sigh*
3. I hope that Jeremy Corbyn, the guy who described people from Hamas and Hezbollah as "friends," and who hung around with an admitted Holocaust denier long past the time he should have dropped him like he was hot (despite his denials of the same), winds up losing his job and someoene who isn't a flake takes over.
4. If I had any spare cash right now, I'd be buying pounds. Even if I had to hold on to them for quite a while, doubtless the pound will rebound sooner or later, and then...hypothetical profit.
|Secession and Confederation, 1995 Counterfactual
Not that it was remotely the same situation, but the Brexit vote was giving me flashbacks to the 1995 Quebec referendum
-- the same sort of helpless apprehension that people (who weren't you) were voting for something that would have big implications for you and your country.
I especially wondered if, should Quebec have voted to leave, Canada would kind of fall apart, since there would be no contiguous land bridge between central and western Canada and the Maritimes, and it would surely empower the Albertan separatists as well, in which case, Canada would have probably wound up being (what is now) Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, and the northern territories. I figured that the Maritimes would deconfederate somehow sooner or later once their land connection to the economic base of the country (Ontario, Quebec, Alberta, and, to a lesser extent, BC) was gone. They might have joined the US, or maybe asked Britain for return to official "colony" status, rather than what Canada is now (with its own Constitution, etc.).
I didn't much like that thought. I heard rumblings that Brexit might get the QC separatistes all fired up again and holy shit, I bloody hope not.
|Friday, June 24th, 2016|
|Quotes, Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's 1995 Edition
[T]here are decades when nothing happens, and there are weeks when decades happen
-- @cszabla, Twitter, attributed to Lenin (no actual source found)
The Internet magnifies human whimsy.
-- Harold Feld, Facebook, comments
We had nothing to fear but fear itself, until fear got hitched to the right wing wagon and it worked. We mortals are fools when we believe that the good old days are just an angry vote away. The world is changing and we will either hang together or hang separately- xenophobia is an effective political strategy but an awful way to live
-- John Quixote, Conscience of a Liberal, comments
I don't want to be rude, but you have the charisma of a damp rag, and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk. And the question that I want to ask, that we all want to ask, is who are you? I've never heard of you. Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you.
-- UKIP leader Nigel Farage, 2010, to an EU official, footage in John Oliver, "Last Week Tonight With John Oliver: Brexit"
How can I be prejudiced against Moroccans when I've slept with so many?
-- Dutch politician Pym Fortuyn, quoted at Gin and Tacos
There are ways you can re-educate societies according to the universal values and norms. But only to those who have an open heart, you can never re-educate or educate an ignorant being.
-- from "Slike Raats, Belgian, Halts Social Experiment after just 10 days due to Horrific Reactions," World Story Today( Flashback! And I never even *did* the drugs!!Collapse ) Current Mood: tired
|Sunday, June 19th, 2016|
|Quotes, Anticrastination Edition
<Canadian astronaut lands on Mars> “Well heck, it’s not THAT cold out here.” <puts on shorts, opens Labatt Blue, fires up the Coleman>
-- @SarcasticRover, Twitter, h/t anton_p_nym
Today, Abudiab says, he can’t leave the house in the company of his wife — a white convert who wears the hijab — without feeling viscerally uncomfortable. His 9-year-old son has started asking when they’ll need to leave the country.
-- Daniel Noriega, "Muslims Used To Love Living In Tennessee — Now It's A Nightmare," Buzzfeed News
Some asshole principal in high school in El Paso told me that I would be lucky to graduate high school because I’m Mexican. (Graduation rates for Hispanics were in the dirt in the late 80s and early 90s.) The dude is dead now, which is sad because I wanted to send him a bound copy of my thesis next year.
-- Ren, Respectful Insolence, comments
“Organic salt” is my favorite oxymoron.
-- sonamib, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments
Immigrants are sweeping the nation! Which is helpful, because nobody else wants to.
-- Marnanel Thurman, Facebook, comments( Procipate!Collapse ) Current Mood: hot